Why aren’t college parties more like kids’ parties?
Petition to bring back themes
Here’s the thing about alcohol – it’s magical fun juice that changes your state of mind, alters your personality and may make you break out the moves in a frat basement or a bar. And on birthdays particularly, people just want you to consume a great amount – probably a dangerous amount – of fun juice. But do you remember when you were a little kid and birthday parties were a TIME?!
As we age, we substitute birthday parties with birthday pre-games and such. Our younger selves has such wonderful imaginations, and it’s almost like we use alcohol to get part of it back. So, here are some ways we can integrate our, potentially better, adolescent selves, and remember why we love birthdays in the first place.
We used to be excited to get invitations
Remember in elementary school when your peers would pass out an envelope with your name on it during lunch time? That was an invitation to their fabulous birthday party! Invitations are so much fun and are a great way to get pumped for a birthday party. Since we’re a more technologically based society today, e-vites work just as well! You can theme them and individualize invitations just for your friends to get excited for your birthday bash!
Nobody brings balloon anymore
Balloons!!! Everyone loves balloons. Especially me. They’re a great way to decorate your place and even tie a few on the mailbox just like your parents used to do for you when you were 8, so everyone knows where the party is at.
Nobody sticks to themes anymore
Okay so you definitely had a Spiderman or Barbie themed birthday party at some point in your life. Let’s bring the themes back and have a modern take on theme. You can decorate with your favorite sports team logo’s, or even your favorite netflix shows like The Office or New Girl. How cool would it be to have Michael Scott or Schmidt’s face on your plate?! (Btw- not sure if they actually sell this stuff but it’s a great idea in theory, am I right?).
Make all your guests wear a party hat because it’s your birthday and you said so. They must obey you.
I’d rather have a goodie bag of chocolate than alcohol
This was the best part of going to a birthday party when you were little, and it was so much fun to buy all the goodies to put in the themed goodie bags!! I know putting together goodie bags can get pricy, but something as little as putting together a small bag of candy can make your guests leave your party with great feelings towards you and your killer party.
Cake cake cake
Cake is a necessity at a birthday party. The moment when the lights dim and everyone gets quiet, you know it’s time for cake! All your friends and family start singing to you which makes you feel super special. And then as everyone gets closer and confines you into a small circle (you may get claustrophobic) make a wish and blow out those candles. Now, you can eat all the cake you want because it’s your birthday and you can eat two pieces of cake if you want to.
Gifts for the bday queen used to be mandatory
Does it even feel like your birthday if you don’t receive any gifts or cards? Now everyone thinks they can buy you a shot and get out of giving you a real gift. Guests, please remember that if you forget a present, baked goods and Venmo money transfers are accepted too.