American Horror Story: UD Tinder edition
Viewer discretion is advised
With each passing year, Halloween becomes less ghoulish and more glamorous. We have swapped out our gory grim reaper costumes for sexy kitten bodysuits, and declared Halloween a day of scare no more. But in the spirit of keeping traditions alive, it is important we revisit some of today’s most terrifying phenomena. And what is scarier than the entitled, rape-culture enthused, adolescent man?
Let us begin with a classic – a knock knock joke. But this one has a thrilling twist!
A little frightened yet? Oh, we’re just getting started. How about we keep the childhood-ruining theme going with this rendition on the classic “two truths and a lie” summer camp game.
Enough of destroying your youth, I suppose. How about we meet one of the scariest real life monsters: the awkward-yet-totally-aware-of-their-sexually-explict-language white boy.
I think I just got the chills, how about you? I don’t know what is scarier, the fact he sent that to a real life human being, or that there are five unique personalities in that one post. Regardless, let us move on, shall we? There’s not a whole lot freakier than feeling like you are someones possession, so this next one really rattles the bones.
Spooky that this guy feels like a girl needs prove her worth in some way in the twenty-first century. Unlike our last charmer, this guy cares a little less about what a girl has to offer.
I don’t know about you, but the heart eye emoji is what really freaked me out about that one. Alright, I hope you’re truly ready, because I’ve saved the scariest for last. I’ll just let it speak for itself (and boy, does it speak volumes).
AHHHHHHHHH! Yes, that was written by an actual person on THIS campus. It could be the guy you sit next to in lecture, or the guy behind you in the dining hall line. Or worse, that’s the guy you’ve been talking to romantically for the last couple weeks. Absolutely horrifying right?
Honestly, there is nothing spookier than the fact that certain boys think this type of flirtation is wanted, let alone effective. Also, if you’re wondering why I’ve been decent enough to black out the identities of these creeps, it’s because a majority of them had their mother in their picture. And no mom should have to face that type of terror.