How quitting social media for a week helped me realize I have a problem

Last week when someone told me I probably couldn’t go a week without social media, I was excited to prove them wrong. I had no idea how hard it would be to go cold-turkey.

First let me say I’m not one of those people that posts selfies every day on Instagram. And I keep my Facebook rants to myself. I can’t even remember the last time I updated my status.

That said, I do frequent all of those sites daily, and whenever a particularly pretty sunset comes into view, I can’t help but add it to my Snapchat story.

(And of course I’m guilty of stalking. (Not the illegal kind, just the online kind that probably should be illegal.))

So before starting this week, I decided to read a couple of blogs by people who had done it before, just to see what I was in for; most said it improved their lives by connecting them on a deeper level to the real life in front of them.

This outcome sounded great. But because I’m pathetic, I ended up getting something else out of it.

Tuesday was for accidentally signing into Facebook

Tuesday I hardly noticed the effects of this experiment, but that’s probably because I kept forgetting that I was partaking in it.

I kept accidentally logging into Facebook, then realizing right away and logging out. It is disturbing to think that my fingers, upon opening Safari, automatically type in “facebook.com” as though it’s been programmed into my mind. (Has it? Is this a government conspiracy orchestrated by Zuckerberg?)

Wednesday was for deleting all of my apps

So that I couldn’t make the same mistake I made Tuesday, I decided to delete all of my social media apps.

I started missing having something to check, and so I actually began checking my e-mail. This was not as exciting as getting “like” notifications, but on the bright side, my professors got record-quick replies from me.

That night, I had a banquet to attend for which I put makeup on. Over the past year, I have never put more than mascara and eyeliner on for anything except on two other occasions. Most days, it takes a lot of effort for me to put a brush through my hair.

Because I was looking particularly fabulous, and because everyone around me was snapchatting and instagramming their faces, outfits, and certificates, it took everything in me to not do the same. I compensated by taking at least 10 selfies. Go ahead and judge me, but again, I put primer on.

I should mention that while I was doing this, I had a huge research presentation and paper to prepare for. My inability to scroll mindlessly through statuses and memes helped with that a bit. But don’t worry, I still found a way to waste time.

Thursday was for taking selfies instead of Snaps

I woke up early and had less than an hour to get dressed, print out my presentation, and stuff food down my throat. I didn’t really think about tweeting out “I’m so nervous about my presentation” because I was busy dying on the inside.

Once I was done, a repeat of the former night came about. I put on makeup twice in one week. This has not occurred since I went through a purple eye-shadow phase in middle school.

Resisting the urge to change my Facebook profile picture to one of me posing next to my PowerPoint in my heels and dress pants took a lot of self-control.

For those reading this and judging me for how pathetic I am: I tightlined for this. Don’t know what tightlining is? Look it up.

Later, when I took my parents out to dinner, my mom insisted we take a picture of the food. I rolled my eyes at her before realizing what she was doing was no different than what I wanted to do earlier. The narcissism genes run in the family. Why did I need that type of reassurance?

Friday was for monitoring social media through other people’s phones

One of my friends, who is going into the National Guard, had a going-away dinner on Friday night. After dinner my friends decided to head out to the beach and have a mini photoshoot. Photos that I could not post on social media. Photos which my friends did put on social media including one which seemed to show my bright pink underwear in the shot. This is the type of stuff you can’t monitor when you don’t have access to Facebook!

Saturday was for attempting to read

The weekend went pretty well. Since I didn’t have Instagram memes to keep me entertained, I read a couple articles in the New York Times to pass the time because I’m a cultured and well-rounded human being. (And also because I felt really uninformed.)

Then I went on a run, almost got ran over by a truck, and didn’t bother to post about any of that in any witty status update or tweet. Go me.

Sunday was full of false hope

I think I got used to my detox by this time. I spent the day with a friend, and although if not for my experiment I totally would have snapped a picture of us with “#reunion” and the emoji of the two girls next to it, I held back. Actually, I really did not think about it once during the day.

I thought I had improved as a human being. I thought I had learned to live in the moment. I thought I had achieved my goal of connecting more deeply with the real world.

Scratch that.

Monday was for wondering what the social media world was up to without me

I spent the day at the beach where we took a bunch of cute beach pictures. If you are a girl living in the First World, it’s safe to say that beach pictures are the best pictures. One, you’re getting nice and tan, two, you’re looking very sporty with your Frisbee, and three, it’s the freaking beach. It’s a haven for basic pictures of yoga poses and “candid” shots of you coming out of the ocean. It’s proof to the world that you are living your summer like a proper adolescent. Without it, are you even existing?

Again, I began to think about why it was so important to me for people to know where I was, what I was doing and what I looked like while doing it. I wondered how many likes the pictures my friends posted with me got and whether anyone had noticed the underwear yet.

But then we cut up a watermelon, the waves came in, the sun came out, and all those worries floated away.

When my experiment ended that night at midnight, I promised to myself that I would wait until morning to log back in.

I realized how much of people’s lives I had missed, people who I barely even knew and for some reason compared myself to when I saw pictures of them gallivanting across some mountain, and I was home alone eating ice cream out of the tub.

I’m sure plenty of them have had their own eating-ice-cream-alone moments, but of course only their adventures across lush landscapes and raging music festivals are shown. (Same with me, except in my case there is more ice cream than mountain adventures.)

Missing from the above photo is three pints of Ben & Jerry’s Americone Dream.

Insecurities play into how people act on social media: why they fish for the right number of “likes” or get the perfect selfie, just to show people how great their lives are.

This week did help me focus on my work more and on the real-world more. What I really got from this, however, is the fact that I depend too much on a comments or likes for self-assurance. This isn’t anything groundbreaking, and I’m sure, to some degree, everyone realizes this.

The next is to focus on the why’s and how’s. I know I’m not the only slightly narcissistic and insecure addict with a penchant for filters and sending funny gifs out there. And with a whole generation we’re raising who’ve never seen a day in which someone did not have constant access to 700 of their friends, I think it’s time we have a mass group therapy session.

Maybe over Twitter! #socialmediadetox