Things I’ve literally heard UCSB students say

Turns out we’re just a bunch of stereotypes

As UCSB is notoriously the acronym for “U Can Study Buzzed” and is known to be the ultimate hook up school, I had no doubt that the students here always have exciting (or weird) topics to talk about, from their weekend excursions to what they update their moms on.

Usually, I’m 100% guilty of walking around campus with my headphones in 98% of the time. I have my pair of earbuds in from the moment I walk out of my room to the minute I sit down in my class, so I don’t always catch the conversations going on around me. But in order to compose this article, I put my earphones aside for the week and nonchalantly tried listening in on what people were talking about around me. The results? Hilarious.

Partying

“So we went to this club I don’t even know what it was called but anyways, it was crazy. Like our friend’s boyfriend got into a fight and our friend lost her phone. Like seriously right? Well, we were drunk obviously but yeah it was crazy”

Girvetz Lecture Hall – 3:30 pm

Girl 1: “Fuck being sick!” *blowing her nose*

Girl 2: “Were you sick at Flog Gnaw?”

Girl 1:“Yeah I was sick at Flog Gnaw”

Girl 2: “Were you lit?”

Girl 1: “Oh I was SO lit.”

Santa Catalina Elevator – 8:00 pm

“Honestly guys this law change doesn’t even matter. I know people with like, unhealthy amounts of weed in their cars. Like I’m talking small-scale sellers but they have it. In their cars.” *CSO Officer walked out of elevator as conversation continued*

Santa Catalina 10th Floor Lounge – 9:30 pm

Guy: “I’m going to a gay bar this weekend in LA I’m so excited!”

Girl: “How are you getting back here?”

Guy: “Honey I’m gonna drive there, get so turnt, go to the bar, get more turnt, then drive back the next day duh.”

In a carpool on the way to dance practice – 9:00 pm

Flirting

Guy 1:“Can you hit 12th floor for me?” (Only 10 floors)

Girl: “Oh that’s a good one I fell for it haha”

Guy 2: “Hi haha um that was my joke originally he took it from me — seriously he took it from me it was my joke.”

Santa Catalina Elevator – 7:00 pm

Straight Up Random

“Honestly I’m not even scared to get my nipples pierced like I’ve squeezed it as hard as I can and it didn’t even hurt so like I think I’ll be fine.”

On campus – 6:15 pm

“The elevators both say 6 oh my gosh run for the fucking hills am I right?!”

Santa Catalina 6th Floor – 11:30 pm

“Yeah I slept well. Ok no to be honest I didn’t sleep well. Why? Because I had to freaking clean that’s why … if you’re gonna nag me for being lazy hang up right now.”

Bus Stop – 7:45 pm

 

Needless to say, it was worth giving up my earphones for this past week. I’ve held my breath countless times since being here, either from hearing the weirdest things come out of people’s mouths or simply because their conversations were just hilarious, but it was entertaining to have a whole week’s worth of those moments. Whether you’re standing in the elevator, waiting for the professor in class, or straight up just having a bad day and need a pick-me-up, there’s bound to be some amusing discussions all around; all it takes is a pair of open ears.

 

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