Bozrah, CT: The best worst hometown around
So. Many. Farms.
Everyone is always complaining about how boring their hometown is, but I mean come on; there’s gotta be at least a few exciting cities and towns that people come from. If you’re from New York City or LA, you can’t complain about being bored, or else the rest of the country is going to be quite the disappointment. But not Bozrah, CT; if your from there then you’re already aware it’s paradise.
This is why.
Let’s start with the town’s shining star, the ever eventful Camp Odetah. Here’s a campground where you can play basketball, mini golf, fish, swim, or sneak into to try and talk to people with access to the world outside of Bozrah. When you’re a kid in Bozrah, this is important (trust me).
P.S. The Fourth of July fireworks here are bomb.
Fields Memorial School (aka the Harvard of pre-k through eighth grade)
If you were blessed enough to go to Fields Memorial School then you can probably skip high school and Uni — you’re already prepared for the real world. If I remember right it was Albert Einstein who founded the school. Many successful and brilliant men and women are alumni of this prestigious place, Donald Trump and Kim Kardashian to name a couple (obviously, this is 100 percent true).
Farms, farms, and more farms
Do you love eating eggs for breakfast? What about for lunch too? How about eggs for dinner? Well if you’re one of the seven people in the entire world to say yes to that question, then Bozrah’s the place for you!
Population Count < 3000
Ever get tired of being around your friends and tons of other people your age down to have fun at college? It’s a pretty lame time right? Luckily, Bozrah has less than 3000 people living in the entire town making it a nice secluded spot for all of your spring break needs.
Main’s Country Store
Basically your old country general store here to fulfill all your needs from chocolate milk to condoms to beer, whatever you want you can be sure Main’s has it. The best thing on the menu here, steak and cheese grinder with french fries and ketchup on it. Don’t question it, just enjoy.
‘You’re from where?’
If you’re from here, you might as well suck it up and say Norwich is your hometown. No one that lives even just five minutes away from Bozrah is going to know what the hell you’re talking about.
By this point I hope you’ve realized how incredibly fun and popping Bozrah is — so exciting that my dad’s now counting down the days until my sister graduates high school so he can get as far away as possible (he’s thinking Florida!).
If you’re interested in marrying your cousin and driving a tractor down the street, consider moving to Bozrah now!