How a Tinder date lead to a 6000 mile long-distance relationship

Sometimes you can find happily ever after, but you have to wait for it

While in my last month of studying abroad in Glasgow, I joined the world of Tinder as a joke. There was a funny story about a flatmate’s bout with someone he dubbed “Tinderella” and I thought it would be a good laugh. So I began the trek of swiping left or right, kind of getting a nice confidence boost when a new match came up. Sometimes they would send the dreaded “DTF” messages (seriously, guys?) and I swiped goodbye forever. But then I got this one match, a 6’8” burly Scottish bloke named Chris with the cheesiest and the sweetest pick-up line…

“If you be the beauty, will you let me be the beast?”

It was so bad I HAD to respond, which led to a dialogue about Disney and us and everything. We switched to texting a little later along, and slowly the buzz of my phone would make me excited for his next reply. It got to the point that my flatmates said, “JUST ASK HIM OUT ALREADY!”. But I was a little scared, this would be a “Tinder date” which has a new connotation nowadays. After much cajoling and encouragement, I asked him out to a movie… to which he replied “yes, and is tomorrow good?”.

It was the best first date ever. We saw the new Avengers movie, and afterwards had drinks and talked for hours. We had so much in common, and it was so easy to make each other laugh. I never thought I would be talking about musical theatre with a 6’8” Scot, but Les Miserables was a big part of the discussion. We clicked so well, and the peck he gave me at the end left me smiling for hours and hours into my sleep.

I saved the subway ticket and receipt from that night… because I’m a sap.

We had a total of three more dates, two more movies and one night out clubbing, and our relationship accelerated at an alarming rate for me. I was convinced I was falling for him, but I had to leave in a month! How in the world would this work? Was it even going to be strong enough to last? Was it worth the effort?

I decided that it didn’t and I was too scared. So I cut off communication on my own.

Two months go by. I have come home and am “happily” working. I occasionally check on Facebook to see how Chris was doing, seeing that he graduated and looked good still. Everything was fine for a while.

Then I got a message from him while I was at work asking me how I was. And that he missed me. And that he had fallen for me, that he still had feelings for me.

This opened the floodgates of emotion. I had missed him so much, and I very much regretted that decision to cut off everything. After talking back and forth discussing our feelings and solidifying that we couldn’t imagine our world without the other, we fell back together.

For our first Christmas together, he sent me this anchor crucifix. I never take it off.

That’s good, but this left the challenge of maintaining this relationship. This means iMessage is how we survive and FaceTime become the “date night”. I try and keep busy with school work, because I when I get the least bit bored I start to think about how much I miss him and it chokes me.

Our only pictures together are on FaceTime.

We have the added obstacle of him being part of the merchant navy, sailing away on cargo ships for months at a time for his job. This January was the first time he went away, and conversations were even more scarce: one or two emails every other day.

However, the future is bright. We have a planned trip for him to come out to California to spend three whole weeks with me, going to Disneyland, San Francisco, and wherever else we can fit in. Plane tickets are bought, hotel reservations made, it’s all happening and we have less than 90 days to go.

There are always those typical (annoying) questions about “How do you do it?”, “Do you think it’ll last?”, etc. It’s how much importance you give to the relationship, and to the person you share it with. When you love someone, you will do whatever it takes to keep them in your life, no matter how far life takes them from you or what obstacles get put in your way. I made the mistake of thinking this couldn’t work, and I’m never going to make it again. I’m going to hold on.

More
UC Irvine