Fraternity boys respond to TFM’s ’50 Ways to be the Perfect College Girlfriend’
‘The article paints a dark picture of fraternities’ – Brother Jasir Soomro, Alpha Gamma Rho
3 years ago, Total Frat Move posted an article called “50 Ways to be the Perfect College Girlfriend” which can be found on their website. The list, which is being recirculated, is filled with ways to be… not so perfect. When I first read the article, I was a bit pissed off.
William Gentry, pledge at Phi Delta Theta, after reading it simply said, “I really hope they’re kidding.”
William Gentry, pledge at Phi Delta Theta
Considering I myself am joining a fraternity, Alpha Gamma Rho, I’d heard of Total Frat Move before, though I hadn’t really read anything by them. After I read this stellar piece of dating advice, I decided to dig a little bit more into their website. A lot of stuff they post is satire. Just looking through some of their articles it’s apparent not everything they post is completely serious.
They have fun with their articles, write whatever they want. I asked a good friend of mine, Brother Anthony Neve from Phi Delta Theta what he thought about the article as well as TFM, “I enjoy reading the site for its satirical comedy, so I obviously take the list with a grain of salt and from a more comedic perspective.”
Anthony Neve, Brother at Phi Delta Theta
Though the article could be considered a piece of satire, it does more harm than good. A few minutes of laughter isn’t worth destroying the premise what a relationship should be built upon nor does it help the image Greek life has itself.
Relationship issues
This list is basically the foundation of guaranteed ways to fail a relationship. Shepard Smith, Brother at Alpha Gamma Rho, said, “The whole list comes down to how the girl can serve the guy, both emotionally and physically.” Shepard further added that, “A real relationship is about love… That relationship, with TFM…that’s not love.” There’s more that goes into a relationship than just lust; trust, love and care. William Gentry stated, “If that’s all you’re going to base a relationship off of… You’re going to have a bad time.” If you go through the list…This doesn’t need much more explanation.
The article basically established this “ideal” way a woman should be to get a man.
Shepard said: “A TFM guy comes from: the alpha type who plays physical sports like football, drinks hard, and who, honestly, has a frail masculine ego”.
Fraternity image issues
“I think the image of fraternity men is not the best around the nation” said Anthony Neve, brother at Phi Delta Theta. It’s no secret that fraternities are viewed as being these crazy cult-like groups whose major pastimes are drinking, making fools of themselves and, sadly, sexual abuse. While of course these things do happen, it is not the absolute in any way.
“The article paints a dark picture of fraternities as humorous”, said brother Jasir Soomro of Alpha Gamma Rho. There’s no doubt that this makes us, as fraternity’s-as brothers- look worse than we already do.
Jasir Soomro, Brother at Alpha Gamma Rho
Anthony said: “The Greek community shouldn’t hide behind the bad yellow journalist article titles and stand up and promote the awesome stuff they do every day”.
Fraternity’s and sorority’s organize things called “Philanthropies”, where they have events to raise money for various organizations. Alpha Gamma Rhodeo donated money to the Farmer Veteran Coalition. Phi Delta Theta’s philanthropy benefits UC Davis’s Camp Kesem, a camp for children whose lives have somehow been affected by cancer.
But the media doesn’t seem to want to cover that, “Rolling Stone won’t run an article about Sigma Chi’s Derby Days or Pi Phi’s Arrowjam raising a ton of money because that doesn’t get as much attention and clicks as a fraternity rape story,” said Anthony. “I don’t think there is a fraternity problem, I think there is a fraternity image problem.”
If fraternity’s are ever going to get rid of this idea that they are nothing more than these party-hard, womanizing-men that only want to get drunk in college, we need to start showing what we are truly about.
Spring ’16 of Alpha Gamma Rho with Buck Ford at the concert for Alpha Gamma Rhodeo (AGR’s Philanthropy)
“To make better men” are the first four words of the Purpose of Alpha Gamma Rho. That is, and should be the goal of every single fraternity and sorority. To better its brother and sisters in order to create individuals who will make a difference in their communities, in their nation and their world.
Shepard Smith, Brother at Alpha Gamma Rho
To finish this off, here is one last quote by Shepard: “Brothers that perpetuate a culture of self-served masculinity will not only fail to become men themselves, but will demean what a true brother is, and ultimately fail their society as a whole.”