BREAKING: Bikes have been banned on UC Davis campus
Bicycle use on campus banned due to ‘annoyance’
UC Davis has just actioned a law that will make the use of bikes on UCD campus illegal.
The ban will go into effect next week and all bicycles are required to be surrendered to the police station where they will be melted down and used for their components.
Using bikes as a primary mode of transportation has long been a hallmark of UC Davis.
However, as of this morning, that is going to change.
Big chances coming to UCD
President of Transportation and Convenience, Noah ‘Snacks’ Easter, who actually wrote the law explained his reasoning: “Well, I never learned how to ride a bike, so seeing everyone else riding around makes me really sad. I also hate the noise they make kind of that kachunk kachunk noise, you know what I mean?”
Noah ‘Snacks’ Easter
There is evidence that getting rid of bikes on campus will create a reduction in one type of safety hazard: bike accidents.
The students at UCD are anxious to see how the campus culture changes as we become a pedestrian campus. Several freshmen we spoke to were even excited about the prospect of not having to navigate the treacherous bike circles anymore.
Freshmen rejoice the bicycle ban
Make sure to keep checking The Tab for more updates on how this ban unfolds.