How to spot a Berkeley fuckboy

Yes, even Berkeley has this rare breed of excessive male testosterone.

Maybe you’ve seen this guy around: the guy who is always hooking up with a new girl, but who can’t even remember her name. The guy who embraces hookup culture like no one else, but has no respect for his roommate agreement. The guy who’s been with more girls than he has units. The guy who calls nice guys “tools” and thinks that any girl who messages him the morning after is obsessed with him. In case that’s not enough description, here’s a little more:

He wears frat rush shirts, Vineyard Vines, pocket tees, or polos all the time, in case you forgot he was in a frat

If he’s preppy and is wearing Sperry’s, there’s a good chance he’s a fuckboy. Even better if he’s mixing a sports jersey with Chubbies (you know, those salmon or bright blue short-shorts).

He practically lives in RSF, wearing douchey muscle tanks, flexing, and admiring himself in the mirror

He’ll also brag about how much weight he can lift and how many reps he did, but brush it off like it’s no big deal.

He hoards protein powder in his room, as if he’s waiting for the whey apocalypse

His favorite mixed drink is protein powder with vodka. All about those gains.

He’ll hit you up during dead week and ask you if you want to do a one-on-one naked run through Main Stacks

Nothing beats sex in that library Doe.

He turns any response to “wyd?” into a sexual innuendo

Why not take a break from that problem set, and do me instead? {insert wink emoji here}

He’ll mock you for studying on a weekend night, because after all, he never does

He’s only in college to party, have sex, blow his parents’ money, and avoid getting a job.

He’ll always sexile his roommates, but not care when they get upset about it

“They’re just jealous because they never get laid.”

He’ll claim to be a feminist, but then proceed to make misogynistic comments 

Even worse, he will tell you he’s “not into that PC crap.”

He’ll ignore your messages, but you know he’s on Facebook because he just liked a meme on UCBMFET

Well, damn, at least he’s got his priorities straight. Our meme page is lit.

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