The seven stages of pulling an all-nighter

You all know what I’m talking about

Sleep and I have a great relationship; I am known for taking frequent naps and will always choose to go to bed at a reasonable hour over finishing every last bit of homework. But then, something terrible happened that jeopardized this steadfast relationship. It was Thursday night, I had two final papers due the next afternoon, and neither of these papers were close to being finished.  I knew then that I would have to sacrifice sleep to get everything done.

I pulled my first ever all-nighter. Many times I have tried, but have failed to stay up past 4 am. But this time, somehow, I did it. I’m not sure if I should be proud that I procrastinated so much that I literally did not sleep at all that night, but I am proud of my endurance and determination.

Going without sleep is a funny thing. I found myself going through stages of varying emotions, productivity, tiredness, and loopiness.

Stage 1: Denial, 8 p.m.

You just chugged your large coffee and are feeling great! You’re feeling optimistic about the night and are super motivated to get your work done. You know in the back of your mind that you’re most likely not going to be able to sleep, but keep saying to yourself things like, “I’m going to work so hard that I’ll be able to at least get some sleep tonight!”

Many of these were consumed over the course of the night

Stage 2: Self-pity, 11 p.m.

The wee hours of the morning are approaching and things are looking grim. You feel like the world is punishing you

“Why is school so hard? This sucks so much. I’m going to be so tired tomorrow”.

Stage 3: Anger, 12 a.m.

You are trying to push through but just can’t seem to think properly. You get frustrated and it escalates into a fiery anger at anything and everything.

All this anger floods in all at once; you feel anger at yourself for putting yourself in this situation, anger at your professors for assigning the work, anger at Cal for having such high standards.

Stage 3: Anger

Stage 4: Realization, 2 a.m.

You realize that there is absolutely no way that you are going to be able to get any sleep.

Stage 5: Vowing to never procrastinate again, 3:30 a.m.

This night has been awful and you never want to pull an all-nighter ever again.

This means whipping yourself into shape: getting organized and never, ever procrastinating.

Stage 6: Seeing the world with sleepless eyes, 5 a.m.

It’s the same world, but you’re a completely different person.

You make the walk of shame back to your dorm or first class of the new day. The morning light is harsh and unwelcoming. Your hair is a disaster and you are wearing some combination of sweats, mismatched socks, and slippers. That night’s slew of junk food is now seeping through your pores.

You feel the judging stares as people pass you and you lower your eyes and drop your head in shame. They know.

Everyone seems to be mocking you with their well-rested happiness and energy. Your body feels weird; you’re not quite tired, but something feels off. Your eyes can’t focus and the day passes in a blur.

Of course, my friend and I had to document our all-night journey on Snapchat. I’m grimacing on the outside and crying on the inside

Stage 7: The crash, 5 p.m. the next day 

Surprisingly, you successfully made it through the day without feeling overwhelmingly tired. But in the evening of the day after, effects hit you hard.

You can’t avoid the intense desire to crawl into bed and never come out.

Anywhere, even the floor, is a perfect place to sleep when you’re that tired

Despite never wanting to go through this ever again, I know that I will have many more of these nights ahead of me, unfortunately – I am only a first year after all.

Pro tip (or should I say, novice tip): Come prepared with a study buddy (hopefully one that can stay with you the entire night), a space far away from your room, a ton of snacks (a mix of savory and sweet to keep it interesting), a ton of coffee or energy drinks, and a groovy playlist.

All the tasty snacks I brought: fruit, chips, popcorn, and Oreos.\

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