A definitive list of all the ways to procrastinate at Tulane

Midterms have been dragging on for literally five weeks now (I’m not kidding – my first one was two weeks before fall break, and I still have some coming up). And honestly, I need to rant a little bit about this: TEACHERS, STOP CALLING THEM MIDTERMS IF YOU HAVE MORE THAN ONE. THEY’RE JUST TESTS. YOU’RE STRESSING ME OUT.

Anyway….

Here are the best ways to unproductively spend your time while your anxiety nags at you that you need to study.

Look at memes

Since we’re specifically talking about things that only happen at Tulane, general memes aren’t really on the list. BUT if you look up Tulane memes, you’ll find they do actually exist. Granted, they’re mostly old people making memes to try to get young people involved. For your sake, I’m not going to post an example, but they’re out there and it’ll waste your precious time.

Find some dogs

Again, dogs in general are not “Only at Tulane, Only in New Orleans.” But this specific dog (a really cool dog) is, so that counts for something. TUSTEP is also something that’s somewhat unique to Tulane, and hunting down dogs to pet will efficiently waste time that could be spent not petting dogs.

Go to Bruff

I finally found something that is actually “Only at Tulane, Only in New Orleans.” I mean, Bruff itself isn’t really anything special, but there’s food. That’s not limited to Tulane though, or else I would have recommended going to Panera in the LBC. So in order to make our little slogan or whatever work, I’m just going to stick to eating food at Bruff being an endemic time-waster.

Write for The Tab Tulane

Don’t get me wrong, I love writing these articles. But my motivation mostly stems from avoiding things that aren’t as fun, like homework. Plus, I feel like I’ve done something that will lead to my eventual success in life, so I have peace of mind when I let myself watch one or two more seasons of a Netflix show (By the way, season 5 of New Girl came out on Netflix last month. I finished it in 2 days, thanks to feeling productive for the Tab. 10/10, would recommend).

Calculate the profit you could make by selling pictures of yourself

This counts as “Only at Tulane, Only in New Orleans” because I’m pretty sure I’m the only one who considers selling selfies for profit. I actually have a large demand for pictures that my friends can hang on their walls.So I looked up the price it would cost for me to print pictures at CVS, and found out that if I sold each picture for two dollars, I would get $1.80 in profit per pic.

Here is the original image. Hmu if you want to wake up to this face everyday for the low price of ten times what it’s worth.

Another satisfied customer

So yeah, this whole article was a scam to get money. But it helped you procrastinate, so I did my job. I think I’ll reward myself with re-watching every season of Parks & Rec.