How to avoid your Boot hook-up the week after

So, you followed our advice and scored the perfect Boot hook-up. What happens next? Here’s our guide to surviving the week after.

No text? It’s not you, it’s him

If you didn’t get a text from him, don’t worry – you’re dealing with the classic case of an asshole. These are very common, especially at colleges where the hookup culture is so prevalent, as it is at Tulane. Chances are, he’s the one with the problem, not you. Maybe give him a little Facebook stalk to see what the deal is.

Stalking via social media

If you have his name, this part is easy. However, if you didn’t ask/hear what he said it was in between the endless Bieb’s songs the DJ played, there are plenty of ways to figure it out. If his name was ‘Dan’ search for the name ‘Dan Tulane’ and see what comes up. If this doesn’t work, ask around. Everyone knows everyone here so most likely you will find this mystery man.

If you find him, first make sure his last three profile pictures aren’t with the same girl. If this is the case, we are sorry, but he has a girlfriend and should be immediately deleted off your radar. If he isn’t pictured with the same girl, stalk him back to his middle school days and obsess over all the pictures of him holding his baby cousin. Awwww!

Get his schedule

While not necessary and not exactly practical, if you are really trying to avoid this guy, getting a copy of his schedule is key. This will allow you to predict when and where he might be found in his free time. If you know them, ask his friends (as casually as possible of course) if they know when he has classes.

Make sure to let them know the only reason you would ever acquire this information is because you have to work on a Spanish project with him. If they look at you like you have two heads and respond by saying, “But he takes French,” pretend to be receiving an incoming call and retreat in the opposite direction as fast as possible.

Pick your disguise

If the weather permits, wear sunglasses and a hoodie around campus (and inside when necessary) to avoid being recognized. You may get some strange looks, but for all they know you have sensitive eyes and get cold very easily. Also, try to make it as cute an outfit as possible – no middle school Bar Mitzvah sweatshirts.

Go to Bruff at strange hours

Do not go to Bruff at 12pm, 4pm or 9pm. We repeat, do not. With Bruff’s wide open floor plan and fluorescent lighting, it’s hard to hide from the one person you are trying so very hard to avoid. Sometimes you don’t have any other option but to go during those hours and let’s be real, skipping a chance to eat is NOT an option. So, if you must go to Bruff during rush hour follow our next suggestion.

It’s all about location baby

When “Bruffing” during prime hours, be sure to sit in a spot in one of the corner tables or even at the high top counter by the window. This is an exceptionally good option in case he does happen to be Bruffing at the same time as you. If you must, sit at the window seats that overlook McAlister Drive. We aren’t trying to make you look weird, but we know you’re really not trying to spark up a conversation in the pizza line. Yes, he may be sitting by the sandwich bar and yes, you may be craving your specialty panini only you can create to perfection, but there will be other days for this delicious opportunity.  

Never travel alone and ALWAYS have your wing-person with you

This is especially helpful when you are traveling to and from classes during rush hour. You never know who’s going to come out of the woodwork. Be on high alert always. Four eyes are better than two – and we don’t mean wear your glasses (although remember your disguise).

Choose your wing-person carefully and wisely because you’ll need to be able to depend on him or her at all times. Make sure she or he knows the situation between you and this guy just as well as you do. Being a wing-person is a big responsibility, so you should choose someone who is ready to take on the task.  

If you do happen to run into him, look your best

There’s a reason he chose to kiss you on the dance floor Friday night. If you are so unlucky that you actually run into him undisguised, make sure you remind him of your extremely good looks, thus making him immediately regret not sending that follow-up text. His loss!