Why I always reveal I’m a feminist to the guys I date

Before I came to Temple University, I didn't know what the real definition of feminism was and how significant it would be in my life today.

Growing up, I had a complex relationship with feminism. I loved the idea of it and had strong opinions about issues that encompassed feminism, but I was hung up on how it would possibly distort the way people looked at me―especially when it came to the opinions of guys.

I've heard this statement a million times before, "I'm not a Feminist because I like guys!"

I know, it makes a current feminist like myself (and hopefully you) cringe. However, I used to think like that and I'm glad I realized how ridiculous it sounds today.

I never wanted to say that I was a feminist because of the huge stigma that came along with it. The common myth of being a feminist is that we all think women are better than men and we hate all of them irrationally, which is so not the case.

Because of this stigma, I hesitated to mention to any man about feminism. I didn't want them to judge me. I wanted to be that "cool girl" the guys would like, and to be honest, I wasn't really confident enough in myself to proudly say, "Hey! I'm a feminist! Deal with it."

Yeah, I was at the Women's March and I'm proud of it too

In case you're unfamiliar with what feminism is―here is a simple definition.

Feminism is the theory of the political, economic, and social equality of the sexes. Does it say anywhere in that definition "Feminism is a movement where you hate and want to purge the world of all men"?

And once I really let that sink in―I came to this huge realization: Why should I be embarrassed to advocate and want equality for everyone?

The second I finally figured out feminism is a literal synonym for equality, and it changed who I was forever.

"Feminist" became a label for me, a proud one too and I wasn't really scared anymore to let guys know that I did identify as one.

Why? Well, feminism became a part of me and of who I am. When you're getting to know someone who could potentially be in a serious relationship with you―why would you hide who you are?

And I understand, you're afraid of telling a guy who you really like that you're a feminist because they will probably reply with, "ugh."

In all honesty, why in the hell would you want to be with a guy like that anyways?

Women's March on Philadelphia, 2017.

Of course, I don't always expect the guy to say "Awesome, me too!"―I'm okay with them asking "Okay. Why?" because I love to tell them why I identify as one and why it's important to me. And you know what? I've been in relationships where they didn't identify as feminists, but we respected each other.

When I had to just rant about the infamous pro-life vs. pro-choice debates or let it out about my co-worker "mansplaining" things to me that I already knew, he would listen. He wouldn't shut me down or tell me I'm being "overly dramatic."

I'll never forget when I dated someone who didn't quite identify as a feminist at first but always agreed with what I had to say concerning issues of feminism. A few months into the relationship, after we had another conversation about how frustrating sexism is I decided to ask again, "So, are you a feminist?" and he replied, "Actually… I think so".