The best of the Bell Tower Preacher

If you’ve ever set foot on Temple’s campus, you probably recognize this guy. He comes around the Bell Tower every once in a while to impart some religious wisdom on us sinners.

Recently, I decided to hear him out instead of hurrying past him and avoiding eye contact. I settled down in the grass on Beury Beach and prepared myself for the possibility of a religious epiphany that did not come.

While not personally eye-opening, what he had to say was pretty interesting. Here are some of the most notable things that came out of his mouth.

‘Life gets better with Thanksgiving, I’m tellin’ ya’

Amen.

‘At McDonalds! You can advance the kingdom of God at McDonalds! You don’t need prestige’

I mean, there’s a lot of questionable stuff happening at McDonalds.

‘He knows how to take care of us, not we ourselves’

At least this is valid. I still don’t know how to cook anything besides Easy Mac.

‘We are his people and the sheep of his pasture’

We’re Owls…

‘He’s chipping away at your life!’

Is that a good thing?

‘There’s nothing better than suffering, hey!’

I would like to respectfully disagree.

‘Even if you’re a Pagan, he’s proud of you’

That’s pretty nice of him.

‘Always give thanks in the name of our lord, Jesus Christ. Do I do that? No, I whine, I complain. But that’s just me. You don’t have to do that’

Do as I say, not as I do.

‘Why is this happening to me? I’ve said that more times than I can count’

He and I have a lot in common, then.

‘I love the skill of surgeons. That’s an awesome skill’

. . . yes.