A Brit loses his Thanksgiving virginity: A tell-all

Contains profane language, viewer discretion is advised

Being the reckless vagabond I am, I decided to follow my freshman roommate and his dad back to Boston to hole up over the Thanksgiving break. With no idea what to expect, I had significantly low expectations. I had never been to Boston (or Maine), and I feared my introverted nature wouldn't rub off well with a foreign family. Nevertheless, I bottled up my thoughts, disdained second-guesses and kept my chin up, anticipating a shrewd 'I told you so' by my evil twin a week into it.

Hopping into the car, I expected to be thwarted off balance with a series of loaded questions regarding my playful past, potent present and fruitful future. This, of course, was to be shrouded in the guise of 'good conversation' but really was to be me selling myself as a 'good kid' in Syracuse's mad city. In reality; however, we discussed music, college and sports (as guys do) during a Pink Floyd listening session (I was being indoctrinated into 70's rock and it was litty). The nighttime trip whizzed by like Kyrie did Brandon Knight and we were home before we knew it.

No house pic because the Feds are watching. S/O Dellplain

On arrival, I was vehemently cussed out by the cutest little dog on the planet. She's generally grumpy, but on that cold evening she was disgusted by my alien presence and constantly slandered my ridiculous haircut. I escaped her wrath being led to my room upstairs. She had set the tone and I understood it.

From that point on, the Boston experience shot up North. We went to watch the Boston Bruins square off against the New York Rangers in what had to be one of the most nerve-racking games of the season! It ended in a narrow Boston win, so we were dumb hype plus the beers and pizza from the bar across the rink made the game that much better. I came to realize Ice Hockey is a marvelous game and the fans are… 'Sensational.'

Not exactly this game but you get the point

We grabbed a couple Cannoli's from the famed Maria's Pastry in the North end before visiting Faneuil Hall . We breezed past a location where a scene from The Departed was shot, and we went fishing for over an hour in the FRREEEZIING COOOLLD… to no avail. Lastly, visiting Dick's Last Resort was a particularly peculiar experience seeing as the color of my skin played well for a bombastic amount of sexual innuendo's (blacks have to come together to agree on whether we're for or against positive discrimination lol).

This is actually a place on Marshall

Back at home, I found the time to bond with my arch nemesis by watching countless hours of television with her when everyone else was out. I'd occasionally spoil her with a few extra snacks here and there as we watched Da Vinci's Demons.

Trips to the hot tub, basement Madden with my roommate's high school friends, and practicing gun accuracy at the backyard were frequent activities that strengthened our bond plus his parents blessed me with an abundance of Ice cream, pizza and comfort; that's gobsmacking hospitality in my book.

Chilling like villains in the Museum of Science

On Thanksgiving day, we took a lengthy trip to go see the cousins, and we had to carry with us jawbreaking amounts of food. Getting there, I wasn't without warning of the big dogs lurking within the household, however, youthful naivete mixed with downplaying events mustered up a fretful near-future. Stepping in, I was alarmed to see two big-ass dogs almost the size of me parading the living room, both as restless as a nympho.

We exchanged greetings and I was warmly welcomed as Cam Newton was dabbing on the screen. A couple of snacks later and the hands of the clock had approached the moment we'd all been waiting for; the feast. The kids (such as myself) had a table far-off from wherever the parent's grand meal was taking place and without them in sight, we pretty much messed around the whole night. My roommate's dad came over to offer me a taste of Hummus. Although it looked delightful, it didn't agree with my taste buds so I excused myself to the bathroom as everyone on the table burst into laughter.

Having a sweet-tooth meant dessert never stood a chance. For each piece of desert a person had, I devoured five. I really couldn't help myself, they were sooo good I almost kissed the plate. (Pause.)

All Juicy Fruit lovers have it bad for the sweeter things in life

We had one more stop that night. This time I was being faced with Jewish cuisines. Namely Falafel and Knish. These ones my taste buds agreed with; they were remarkably dank. My roommate's friend and her roommate from college (what are the chances?) were both looking as sumptuous as the dishes and they were hilarious, I was willing to risk it but got cockblocked by my partner (it be your own) because they were 'childhood friends'. This, to me, was the equivalent of your teammate blocking you and talking about 'That's my old team'. It's either that or I was reaching but for my ego's sake lets say it was the earlier.

(Kmt, chances of that threesome might never come again)

The next day, we had to head back out to good ole 'Cuse. We hugged the parents and they wished us luck in our finals (mum) and a good time back at school (dad). My ex-nemesis was left distraught at my departure and the feeling was mutual. In a weird way, it felt like home, except, as a vagabond, you know there's no such thing as home, only timely places of shelter.

With that being said, each Thanksgiving break, I make sure to call the Berenson family household because there's something special shared over Thanksgiving and it's not only the food. xxx

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