The best alcohol to buy if you’re poor but looking to get lit

The ultimate struggle since the beginning of time for college students has always been being poor af. So how do you get shmacked while balling on a budget? Fear not: We’re here to provide you with that information.

Franzia Boxed Wine

This classic goes without saying but I’m going to say it anyway. For a around $20, you can get 5 liters of shitty wine that will do the job. They’re all pretty horrible but the least horrible is undoubtedly Chillable Red or Sunset Blush. Don’t let my mom know I drink this disgusting wine or she’d disown me.

The most important skill I’ve learned in college

Black Cherry Rum Bucket from DJ’s

Okay I lied a little. If you’re hitting the most ratchet bar on ~The Hill~, the black cherry rum bucket is about $8 and is so sweet that you don’t even realize you’re drinking alcohol. Obviously this can be good or bad but we’re just going to pretend that it’s exclusively good. The best thing to look for when you’re going out is a big drink that will last you awhile without breaking the bank because we both know that college students hardly have a dispensable income.

Svedka

For about $25 you can get yourself a 2 liter handle of flavored (or unflavored, if you’re brave) Svedka vodka. You can drink it straight or you can mix it! It couldn’t be more perfect. My favorites are cucumber lime and raspberry. Both taste incredible in lemonade or fruit punch. I always run to CVS to grab strawberry lemonade for less than $3. I’m so serious when I say that it can’t get any better than Svedka.

Tequila

All I need to say about tequila is every time I make a margarita for someone, they complain that there’s too much tequila in it and shortly after, they’re telling me that they love me. (You’re welcome.) My favorite tequila is Espalón Blanco, but I’m also bougie because I work at a Mexican restaurant and bar at home. Any type of tequila will do.

Great America

For $6 at the corner store on Marshall, you can get the drink packaged in a mason jar that will undoubtedly cause you to forget even going to buy in the first place. Some of them taste pretty rough but if you just power through, you’ll be rewarded.

Four Loko

Do I even need to talk about this? Four Lokos are the original go-to drink if you’re looking to get wild. At $3 per can, you can never go wrong. It’s a 24 proof drink, meaning you’re drinking about 3 beers in one go. I don’t know anyone who has ever had a Four Loko and remembered the whole night. My favorite flavor is fruit punch but for some reason, a lot of people think it’s too sweet. Whatever you do, do NOT buy watermelon.

Now that you’re equipped with the worst and cheapest alcohol for your next tailgate, frat party, or get together with friends, it’s time to go get that #1 party school ranking back. See you at DJ’s.

@kaitlynmenegio