Why have a Valentine when you can have pizza?

February 14th is upon us — the day you are supposed to be drowning in chocolate covered strawberries, (that you only pretend to like because you think eating them makes you look sexy), receive a dozen red roses (that cost too much and will end up in the trash two days later because they smell funky and turned brown), and get thousands of kisses from bae (who may or may not be screwing Allison, or Heather, or Alex from their Chemistry lab).

If you’re into that, cool! But me? I am happy to sit this holiday out.

Being single on Valentine’s day is not a death sentence — it is the absolute opposite from being the worst thing that has happened to you this year, this month, today. Being single is actually pretty empowering. You don’t answer to anyone, you don’t have to listen to someone tell you what to wear and who to hang out with (as if you would actually listen to that anyway, no one tells us what to do). We are just getting started, our lives are just beginning, we’re just having fun. As much as it might be depressing to see a couple walk hand in hand, so overly obnoxiously in love with each other (cool it with the PDA) you have to remember that you are a hot, single gal who does whatever she wants, kisses whoever she wants without consequences or rules, says anything she wants. Go you!

Me? I have pizza.

Pizza doesn’t hurt you. Pizza will never take you out to dinner one night and act super flirty from across the table and then “forget” to call or text back for three weeks in a row. You and pizza can have a relationship with no strings attached, strictly friends with benefits. If you booty call the Domino’s guy at 2am, unlike most boys who are out with some other girl, he will actually come bearing a large cheese pie directly to your dorm or apartment door.

It’s okay to cheat on pizza with onion rings

Pizza comes in a variety of flavors, shapes, sizes, smells. There is the perfect pizza for every girl much like someday, there is the perfect person for everyone one of us. There is nothing wrong with experimenting, seeing which type of pizza you love, what toppings make your pizza better, taste testing every pizza place within a 15 mile radius. And yes, I am using the metaphor of trying every type of pizza to convince you that it is okay to not be tied down and that hooking up with more than one boy a week is okay.

All jokes aside, I love being single. I’m embracing the idea of it, I eat entire pizzas by myself and I do whatever the fuck I want. Being single gives me time to focus on me. I am in the prime of my life and I go to one of the best school’s in the country. I refuse to believe that in this very moment, in the moment before my life begins and my career takes off, that I have to be tied down to a man. I’m my own boss and frankly, I like it that way. Being single doesn’t have to mean you are alone. I like to take it one day at a time, surrounding myself with friends and loved ones, taking baby steps in discovering who I actually am and the chemistry that makes me me. I know I won’t stay single forever so for now, I am happy right where I’m at.

As a wise women once said, “I don’t need a valentine. I need Valentino.”