Stop ignoring your hookups after one night stands
The guy I hooked up with last night is like staring me down
You’re hungover at 11am and you just want an omelet from Ernie. You’re staring at your plate and all of a sudden you catch a glimpse of a familiar face over your Ray-Bans. The person you hooked up with last night turns out to also be craving an omelet.
Tidbits of last night flash through your head. It all started with a shared fishbowl and ended with a barefoot walk of shame that morning. There’s definite tension because you both have silently acknowledged each other.
Do you strike up a conversation or just pretend they don’t exist? 54 percent of people at ‘Cuse would just look away and ignore them versus say a simple hello. Why is that?
Hooking up with someone after a sloppy night is just straight up easier than the effort it takes to get to know someone.
I know a handful of girls that came to college expecting to find their significant other before they graduate. It’s hard finding that one person you really vibe with. It’s even harder when the hookup culture is so popular here.
That one guy you’ve been checking out in lecture? Odds are you won’t ask them to study and get to know them the old fashioned way. 68 percent of ‘Cuse students would rather drunkenly approach them at Lucy’s and try to hook up.
And the next morning when you both happen to crave omelets at Ernie? 54 percent of us would choose to ignore them and pretend the night never happened versus actually saying hi.
Confidence and clarity is key. We are left secretly hoping that the hookup could blossom into more, but without communication, nobody will ever know.
After a few hookups, a talk might be needed. This is where you decide whether you want to continue being FWB, slowly distance yourself, or actually commit.
Refusing to commit ends up in 35 percent of us being jealous and 21 percent of us being hurt when we see our FWB making out with someone else at Harry’s. If you didn’t facilitate a conversation about your situationship then you have no real reason to be hurt. Boundaries were not set, a title was never established on, and “What are we?” was never asked.
Since one night stands and booty calls are so popular, 43 percent of us wouldn’t even care if they were hooking up with someone else. Why? Because we have our own personal roster of FWB’s and go-to hookups.
Commitment is scary. The sex is great, the person’s decent and you actually vibe with each other. So what’s holding you back? In most cases, you don’t know if they even want to switch the walk of shames to weekly brunches at Funk ‘n Waffles.
This is where you ask yourself: do I wait awhile to text back to keep them on their toes, but secretly look forward to getting that “hey”?
We’ve turned dating and hooking up to a game of chase and tactics. It’s a race to see who could act the most disinterested but still somehow maintain that connection.
You’d be surprised to learn a majority of people do want to get out of the casual sex zone and take it to the next level. We’re just scared of rejection an emotionally committing to someone who may not feel the same way.
The “what are we?” questions actually need to happen more often. We can’t just expect that the other person just wants sex. Maybe they’re secretly hoping for something more too. Conversation is key.
Yeah hookups are fun, but some boundaries need to be made once they become frequent. You know what you want and they know what they want; it’s just a matter of having a mature conversation and talking it out.
Being a “work hard, play hard” campus, the average Syracuse student spends as much time in the library as they do at the bars or at a frat party. ‘Cuse kids are prime when it comes to balance.
Truth is, actively pursuing someone does take time. To take them on dates, to just hang out, to ask them how their day is when we have sooooo much going on already (hello, midterm season) is just so much effort.
What would you rather have: an intellectual conversation with someone you really connect with or just another hook-up?
Think about it. With some time, effort, and clear communication, that hook-up can turn into someone you can hang out with every day and they can be your person. Everyone needs a person.
All it takes is some honesty, confidence, and that ‘Cuse “Work hard, play hard” spirit. Because once you put in the work, there’s plenty of play.