What Rutgers thing you are based on your star sign

We’ve all read those random horoscope articles that dictate what type of boyfriend/girlfriend you are, who your next hook up should be, what type of haircut you should get next, and what ‘first date’ is perfect for you based on your astrological sign. So here is one specialized just for Rutgers students.

ARIES (MARCH 21 -APRIL 20): FUCK PENN STATE

Aries, you are known for your bold personality, and that’s why you embody Rutgers students shouting, “fuck Penn State!”. You’re never afraid of challenging another person–or in this case, another school–and are known for being loud, enthusiastic, and impulsive. You’re the first one at the football games to start chants, and even if we’re being completely shut out, you’ll continue chanting your heart out because Aries love to win and never give up when trying to do so.

TAURUS (APRIL 21 – MAY 20): GETTING ON A CROWDED BUS

Taurus, as the bull you are extremely stubborn and that is why you are the kid that will get onto the crowded bus, even if it seems like there is no possible way it can hold anybody else. While other people back away or stumble out, you know how to push your way on because there is no way in hell you’re going to wait another 15 minutes for a bus to Cook Douglass. You prove that being really stubborn isn’t all that bad, and even if you piss a few people off while jabbing your backpack into their sides, nothing beats the reward of the doors closing behind you and making it to class on time.

GEMINI (MAY 22 – JUNE 21): HALLOWEEKEND

Gemini… you know you’re great at communication, and that makes you one of the most social signs. With being a social butterfly, however, comes plenty of crazy nights, and that is why you are the essence of Rutgers’ infamous Halloweekend. You know how to have an amazing time, and your outgoing nature promises you’re always going to have too much fun. Spending time with you is always unpredictable, but befriending you will promise stories that will last a lifetime.

CANCER (JUNE 22 – JULY 22): PASSION PUDDLE

Cancer, you are so in touch with your emotions that you can’t help but remind people of Passion Puddle. As a water sign that is empathetic and sensitive, you are one of the most romantic signs in the zodiac, and given the legend of Passion Puddle you are guaranteed a happily ever after that will leave people jealous. Being a Cancer means living a life full of love, passion, and determination: when it comes to something you care about it, you will never stop fighting for it.

LEO (JULY 23 – AUGUST 22): THE GUY WHO GETS INTO THE PARTY WITH RATIO

Nobody knows how you do it, Leo, but it’s probably because you’re a natural leader. Relying on your crazy high self esteem with a huge group because you’re friends with everybody, you always manage to get through even the most unimaginable demands to enter a frat party. With a fun-loving nature, you always are ready to have a good time and ratio isn’t going to stop you from doing so.

VIRGO (AUGUST 23 – SEPTEMBER 23): SERVICE DOGS

Virgos love nature and animals which is why you are the cutest part of the Rutgers community: the seeing-eye puppies. Ruled by Earth, you have a very grounded nature and loyal personality. Virgos are compassionate and caring, but also organized and analytical. Because you make the best owner for pets, it only makes sense that you are represented by the cutest, cuddliest members of the Rutgers community.

LIBRA (SEPTEMBER 24 – OCTOBER 23): YOUR FRESHMAN YEAR 

Libra, you’re a master at balance, and because of that you remind us all of our freshman year when we had no idea what we were doing and were just trying to figure it out. You’re social, gentle, and sometimes naive, you’re represented by Friday, and you like to maintain peace. Libras are constantly searching to create balance, and even if they feel they can’t do something because it isn’t practical… well, they’ll figure out a way to make it work. Like going to a dage, and somehow sobering up enough for that lecture at 7:40. You learn mostly through experience, and after freshman year you’ve got everything mastered. Oh, and you’re also probably one of the best dressed people on campus, and are never seen at Brower because you value good food.

SCORPIO (OCTOBER 24 – NOVEMBER 22): THE STARBUCKS AT THE YARD

Um… are you open? Are you not open? Are you just messing with our minds and hearts? Scorpios are the most mysterious sign, and that’s why you represent the Starbucks located at the Yard because nobody understands what the hell is going on there but it’s on our minds whenever we pass by because damn, it was great while it lasted. Scorpios are secretive and intense, and everybody wants to know what is going on with them. People who don’t know you wish they did. You’re misunderstood, but magnetic. Just like whenever the Starbucks at the Yard opens again and is going to cause a buzz, people are begging to know what exactly is going on in your head…

SAGGITARIUS (NOVEMBER 23 – DECEMBER 21): PRESIDENT BARCHI

Congratulations, Saggitarius, because you share the same zodiac sign as our beloved president. Open-minded, a fighter for freedom, and generous, you hold qualities that make you an ideal leader. You are an extremely curious person with a craving for knowledge, yet the fiery side of your sign contributes to making you a wanderer, always on the search to travel.

CAPRICORN (DECEMBER 22 – JANUARY 20): GETTING THAT 4.0

Capricorn, you seriously have your shit together, and for that… we all envy you. Where a Libra is amazing at balancing, you’re amazing at organization and achieving goals. You have everything written down in your daily planner: every due date, every club meeting, every social event, every study break. You know how your day is going to go before it even starts. We all envy you for your hard-work, and it’s no surprise if you get a 4.0. You deserve it after making it to every single 8AM, and never sleeping through a lecture once.

AQUARIUS (JANUARY 21 – FEBRUARY 19): THE NARUTO RUN

Aquarius, perhaps the most amazing thing about you is that you don’t care what anybody thinks. You are independent and have no fear in fighting for what you believe in or standing out. Just like the Naruto run sparked plenty of controversy across the Rutgers community, you don’t care how many anti-anime pages were created against your cause and you especially don’t care that the event ended up being, well, not as successful as it was anticipated to be. Even though only a few people showed up, just like the Naruto Run you are not afraid to be yourself. You’ll happily run across the Yard anyway.

PISCES (FEBRUARY 20 – MARCH 20): DRUNK GIRLS IN LINE FOR THE BATHROOM

Do you ever wake up from a crazy night out, only to find 5 new contacts and 6 new Snapchat friends with names like “girl from (insert frat here)” dialed into your phone? That’s the life of a Pisces. Pisces, you are one of the friendliest signs in the Zodiac. Just like the supportive nature of drunk girls in line for the bathroom, you are great at making new friends and demonstrating kindness. Your effortless charm allows you to win people over by telling them the most genuine compliments, and your dreamy nature makes your conversation really enlightening to listen to. Despite your stereotyped quieter nature, you love music and adore having an absolutely great time, always walking away from a fun night with a couple of new Snapchat friends that will consistently watch your story because they’ll never forget how sweet you were.