The realities of domestic violence at Rutgers

Chris Brown, Charlie Sheen, and Rutgers’ very own Ray Rice. These men may all come from very different walks of life, but they all have one very big thing in common. They are all well-known domestic abusers.

What does this have to do with Rutgers you may ask? Recently, I witnessed a serious act of domestic violence take place in an off-campus neighborhood on College Ave. In this event, a group of students who were coming back from a party confronted a man who was quite clearly beating his wife. Out in an open, public space in the center of a college campus, this man was violently abusing his wife. Thankfully, this group of student party-goers immediately began screaming at the man and repeatedly attempted to bring attention to the issue. Exclaiming “don’t beat your wife”,  some students even entered the man’s place of business to confront him but were soon chased out by the abuser. So in one final attempt to save this woman, I immediately called the police and hoped that the group would do the same.

Now, you may think that just this one event is enough to shock a community or at least some of the community members. But what’s most surprising about these events is that this was not the first time I’ve seen violent acts of domestic abuse take place within our campus. Earlier in the fall semester, I witnessed another domestic violence event – but unlike the first incident I mentioned, this case involved students. This time, I witnessed a female student in tears, being tossed around by what I presumed was her boyfriend. Violently restraining her from leaving him, he was tightly squeezing her arms and dragging her along with him. As stated by the USDOJ, abuse by an intimate partner is most commonly inflicted to women between the ages of 18-24. Being of college age, this fact only heightens my concern that this girl I witnessed being violently restrained by her boyfriend was just one of many girls being domestically abused within our college community. This is the worst realization I could have ever come to.

On top of this fact, the CDC has also found that in the US one in three women and one in four men have fallen victim to abuse by an intimate partner. These victims are your classmates, your friends, your family members, and possibly, even you. And while this is a sensitive issue, in which a general bystander may not be able to necessarily step in to help directly, there are some worthwhile actions we can all take to stop acts domestic violence from happening on our campus.

Call the police

First off, if you see or hear evidence of domestic violence, call the police immediately. Those “If you see something, say something” posters that are plastered all over the walls of the NYC Metro are not a joke. By taking action immediately after witnessing acts of domestic abuse you can, and will, save a someone’s life.

Speak out

Speak out publicly about the dangers and consequences of domestic violence. Spreading awareness for this issue not only helps stop acts of domestic abuse from happening, it also tremendously helps victims access the resources they need to get out of toxic relationships and seek help. And please, don’t ever tolerate humor about beating or being beaten by your partner.

Maintain healthy relationships

By maintaining a healthy relationship, and setting healthy boundaries with your partner you are helping to ensure that acts of domestic violence do not become desensitized. Domestic abuse does not equate to a normal, healthy relationship, therefore, violence between intimate partners should never be normalized.

Encourage vigilance

By encouraging others to be vigilant of their surroundings we are also promoting and ensuring the overall safety of not only ourselves but of our surrounding community members as well.

Without taking these steps to prevent – and hopefully, end – acts of domestic violence who knows what could happen to the lives of domestic abuse victims. And if it was not for the actions of concerned community members, who knows what might have happened if that group of weekend revelers had not intervened to help that woman that night. People have died and still die from domestic violence incidents daily, so the next time you decide to intervene or call the police on an abuser, just remember that you may be saving someone’s life. And to those brave residents, thank you for doing just that.