How to survive the rest of the semester with no meal swipes

If you’re like me and you’ve spent half your swipes on people with no meal plan, then you probably have five meal swipes or less by now.

Life is getting rough as you’ve been biting your nails thinking about what scraps you can throw together to make your next meal. Will it be the takeout chips for breakfast, or last night’s leftover mozzarella sticks? Maybe both.

Ramen for dinner is a classic, but after a couple weeks of that, the zombie effect begins to set in and instead of craving human brains, you crave real food — even vegetables.

Your friends are probably telling you “just buy more swipes”, but your parents would have to buy a whole plan. Being able to buy just 10 more swipes would be too convenient and cheap for Rutgers to let happen.

But it’s just plain unhealthy to eat like this, so here’s a few tips so you don’t die trying to avoid telling your parents you need more swipes.

Go home

This is one of the best possible techniques. Not only will you get freshly cooked meals, but your parents won’t question you as you’re devouring them. They’ll just think you’re being a good child for coming home without having to be dragged. Get the most out of it that you can. When they ask if you want second helpings, ask for thirds. Tell them how much you’ve missed home cooked meals so they just keep the food coming. You’ll appreciate it when the weekend is over and you’re back to eating air for lunch. If you live far away, I’m sorry. I can’t help you there.

Ask your parents for more food

When you’re home, go shopping with your parents. Find some select choices which will help you survive and ask for them, without being shady. Don’t ask for five pounds of meat, frozen vegetables and pots. That’s a dead giveaway that you messed up and ran out of swipes. Be smart. Ask for simple things like ramen, maybe a few frozen food boxes and some water. Keep it cheap and basic.

Get buddy-buddy with people who live in apartments

Don’t think about it like you’re using them. Rather, you’re hanging out and coincidentally joining for a meal or two. Okay, yea maybe you’re using them, but it’s best to be up front about it. People tend to love sharing food they’ve cooked anyway, especially when it’s a talent they’re just starting to acquire.

Ask friends to swipe you

Preferably ones you’ve  already spent your swipes on. It only makes sense to ask people who owe you the favor first. If that doesn’t work out, then you move on to the people who got the 210 plan or above. They’re bound to have at least 20 extra swipes, unless they spent their swipes like monopoly money, like you did.

Remember, if somebody has swipes to offer, use them wisely. If you go to the dining hall, go sometime later in the day so you don’t have time to get hungry again. And please, eat a lot. If you only eat one slice of pizza and a couple fries, you just don’t deserve swipes.

Go to free food events

The semester is coming to a close, the weather is warm and organizations are really in the mood to give out some free food on campus. Take advantage of it. Look on Facebook for upcoming events and mark them on your calendar. Check the RUPA page and see if they have anything planned.  You’re going to have to hunt these events down, but it’ll be worth it. Not only do you not have to swipe, but you won’t have to ask people for food.

Get free water

With meal swiping comes drinks. With no meal swipes, comes no drinks. So, how do you get around even asking your parents to buy you water? Walk up to any fast food place, be it Burger King or Moe’s and I promise they will never reject giving you a cup of free water. Have no shame. As a tip, Wendy’s is the best for this — they even give you a lid and ice. If you get desperate and feel like the people behind the counter are judging you, ask a roommate for water or drink your dorm’s tap. It’s not Poland Springs but hey, you’ll get used to it. You gotta do what you gotta do, right?

Next year, get a bigger meal plan or don’t be dumb.