Why I gave up my dream and quit doing theater
Rejection is something that comes with performing arts and that is something I could never handle
“Do what you love and you will never work a day in your life.” This is a motto that I, and tons of other people have repeated to ourselves when trying to decide what to do with our lives.
Following your dreams is something our parents encourage us to do as kids, but once we become young adults, we are faced with the harsh reality that sometimes our dreams won’t pay the bills and are harder to reach than anticipated. At age 18, the transition from high school to college leaves us confused about our futures. For someone who knew what I loved to do since the beginning, I thought I had it all figured out— until reality and rejection became too real.
I began dancing at three years old. From that moment on, the stage was my home and performing was my life. I trained feverishly for my dance recitals, and was always the ballerina in class who took rehearsals a bit too seriously. Before I knew it, I found my singing voice, and realized that through theatre, I could combine my love for dancing and my powerful alto voice. In middle school, I was cast as a lead role in Beauty and the Beast, and was met with overwhelmingly positive feedback.
When I tell you there is no prouder feeling than being onstage, I mean it. It’s like a high. This is a feeling I searched for throughout high school, but had little success in finding.
Competition hit me like a train. When I reached high school musical auditions, rejection wasn’t something I expected. I sang, danced, and acted my heart out, but was not well-known by the directors. Year after year, politics left me with understudy roles in addition to dance captain positions. In short, I never got the lead role I longed for or believed I deserved. Rejection is something that comes with the performing arts, and that is something I could never handle – and in this field, one cannot afford to be rejected when it is your only profession. We are told as college students we have to choose professions that we will make money in, and I succumbed to the pressure to give up my dreams and move on.
Today, I choose to keep my talents a bit of a secret so people don’t ask me why I stopped.
Lucky for me, writing has always been my crutch. My love for English, poetry, and news lead me to find journalism during my studies at Rutgers, and I am truly happy with where I am headed. Writing has helped me through my decision to give up performing, though the urge to be on stage lingers in me.
Going to Broadway shows is something I love to do, though my heart aches a little more with every show I see. Giving up my dream was something that hurt and changed me, but allowed me to find journalism, pick up the pen and fall in love with a new art. And for that, I am eternally grateful.