I don’t do crazy things to my hair for attention
I’d rather be left alone
Ever since I saw what blue hair looked like, I wanted it so bad. I was in fifth grade and Hayley Williams was my role model at the time and with her bright orange hair. I wanted to pull off any sort of unnatural hair color.
I spent most of my time reading up and spending hours on people’s experiences with magnificent and wild-colored hair. I familiarized myself with a ton of hair dye brands, and how to bleach dark hair (because it’s literally the worse).
Since I was an awkward, shy, little ten year-old, I begged my mom with as much courage as I could to let me get a blue streak in my hair. I told her the entire process and how bleach will be the only damage to my hair. She was hesitant for a while but she let me get it done.
Once I got to the salon, I was bouncing with excitement. The bleach in my hair, sitting for hours, nothing felt more great than seeing my black hair turn orange, then to blue! I felt like the coolest kid in my school. My confidence went from zero to probably a five because let’s be honest, I was still shy and awkward, but I finally felt like I fit into my scene.
After my hair grew out, it was fried and gross from constantly straightening it. Sophomore year of high school, I wanted to chop it off, but since I was in the color guard for my marching band, the girls begged me to wait until after marching season so we can look more uniform in our matching buns. Once the season was over, I never wanted to cut my hair more.
My mother was more scared of my reaction than I was, but as soon as I got to the salon, I had the same rush from initially dying my hair. The hairdresser tied my hair in a ponytail and asked me multiple times, “Are you sure you want to do this?” I nodded in excitement and thought, “I’ve never wanted it more.” Then she cut the ponytail.
Sophomore year
I was also complimented a ton inside and outside of school. I loved it, but it wasn’t what I lived for. I kept experimenting with my hair, cutting it shorter cause I loved it. It’s a part of me that I can totally mess with and not worry about permanently changing because it grows. I got mistaken as a boy three times but that never stopped me.
Junior year
My hair was kept boy-short for three years and in college, I felt bored with growing out my awkward hair so I decided to dye the top of it a deep blue. Since I only had a streak back when I was younger, I decided to go all out and dye a major part of my head. I was able to be that person I always wanted to be back in 5th grade! It was pure impulse but I never felt more proud of how I looked!
October 15′
Eventually, it faded and it was at a real awkward stage. My hair in the back was growing at a much faster rate than the tops and sides. You don’t see it well in the last picture because I always tied the back in the smallest of pony tails to hide it from the front. Some days it’d look nice while other days I’d look like a middle-aged mom.
Ultimately, my goal with my hair was to grow it out to get dreads, but I was saddened because I knew it would take years to grow out long and then more years to develop into locks. I found a video on youtube of this girl installing “synthetic” dreads and I was astonished because it was perfect for me especially during my awkward hair stage. I could put on them on and understand how I’d look with long dreads!
I managed to get a hold of them, and my best friends braided them onto my head. It was definitely the most surreal moment of my life. I actually had a full head of long hair again! My parents obviously were completely weirded out by the idea but when I came home, my mom looked at my for five minutes with her mouth was wide open. “They look so good!” she finally said. When my dad got home, he made fun of me but was so shocked by how different I looked. It was the greatest feeling ever.
Yes, I got compliments, but more importantly, I felt great. After having them for three months, I had to take them off since my hair was beginning to dread. My hair is still at an odd stage but it’s long enough to be braided, tied back, made into buns, etc… I don’t feel the need to continue having dreads cause I enjoy my odd hair at the moment.
Me at the moment
Having the power to constantly change your appearance feels amazing. I felt I’d finally discover myself. I enjoy and embrace change. You don’t need the acceptance of others to feel like you’ve finally accepted yourself.