College stress stems from false expectations

A 13-year-old me is sitting in the passenger seat of my dad’s Jeep Wrangler on Route 18 South as we depart from none other than Rutgers University. We had just dropped my sister off to begin her first year of college. I’m both saddened and excited at the idea of my sister being off on her own. My dad looks at me and says those words that no kid really wants to talk about.

“So, Ry, where do you think you want to go to college one day?”

“I don’t know, maybe NYU or Fordham,” I say.

“Well those are tough schools to get into, you’re going to need to start working now if you want to get in there.”

“I know, I know,” I say with a slight groan.

My dad perks up a little bit and alternates between looking at the road and back at me, “Listen Ry, you can be whatever you want to be in life.”

Fast forward five years, I’ve taken the place of my sister and I am a freshman at Rutgers University. I’m extremely anxious, trying to make my schedule for next year, and trying to decide what I want to major in.

I know plenty of us have had family members ask, “What are you majoring in?”, and when we say things like “Journalism”, we are all too accustomed to having that same family member give you an odd look which seems to give off the undeniable word, “Why?”. I received this run down every time I said I wanted to pursue Journalism. So eventually I decided to settle on Communications, because it was a tad more broad, and would possibly allow me to get a range of jobs which journalism apparently would restrict me from.

This is an all too familiar conundrum that a lot of us have faced. We all grow up in a magical land where adults tell you: “you can do whatever you want to do and be anything you want to be,” but we quickly find out in college that it isn’t true.

Suddenly, we hit college, adults shift their advice and tell us that if you want to get a good job, not make a crappy salary, and actually get by, you have to pick a practical major which will supposedly provide you with a sizable income.

This is the issue with college and why we constantly see anxiety, depression, etc. in young adults. We grow up with a sense of endless opportunity and hope that anything can happen in our lives, and then we are quickly told, “Oh, sorry, that’s not necessarily true anymore, now that your becoming an adult.”

It is also expected that we must all suddenly grasp this idea right out of high school – which is supposed to be 4 years of preparing our young minds for college – and yet when we all come to college, we realize that high school ain’t shit compared to college. Personally, high school, in no way, shape, or form prepared me for higher education. The professors and advisors seem to continue this trend in college by claiming they are preparing us for the work force, but as anyone who’s had a serious internship knows, college prepares you for your career about as much as a driving safety course prepares you for the SAT’s.

To quote my favorite movie, Fight Club: “We’ve all been raised by television to believe that one day we’d all be millionaires and movie gods and rock stars, but we won’t and we’re slowly learning that fact, and we’re very, very pissed off.”

I truly feel like this is real at times, we’re a generation of people who have our hopes smashed from time to time after being given false hope, and we’re a little pissed off about it.

Now, I’m not saying we should grow up in an environment where adults tell us that the world sucks, and you’ll never get anything you want, but it’s pretty messed up that we’re told we can do whatever we want, and then are suddenly forced to deal with the stress of college, getting a job, and settling for something less then what we thought we could be when we were younger – because most of us won’t be actors, or astronauts, or musicians.

I know I sound like a depressing realist, but I think the way we are taught is a bit more depressing. Do we really want to give kids the idea that the world is their oyster and you can make a living doing whatever they want, or could it possibly be better to tell your 13-year-old son, “Listen, kid. Life isn’t always going to go your way. You’re going to be thrown a lot of curveballs. Sometimes you might have to settle, sometimes you might have to sacrifice. You may not get everything you want, but life is fun regardless.”