Everything that will happen when you’re a girl with a male best friend

It’s strictly platonic

For some reason it’s as if having a male best friend seems to defy some universal law, or at least the age-old assumption that males and females cannot be truly platonic. In a recent conversation I had with an international student, she expressed her astonishment and said she noticed platonic relationships among the opposite sexes are virtually non-existent here.

Well, they do exist.

Although you’ll spend a lot of your time explaining to friends and strangers that’s all it is, that is only one of the many things you’ll experience if you have a male best friend. 

Here are a few others:

After proving to your friends it’s strictly platonic, the one other person you’ll really need to convince is your mom

It’s been three years and she still doesn’t believe me. 

Not being approached when you go out because everyone assumes you’re with your boyfriend

This can be a blessing and a curse, but over time we’ve developed a system. He can stick around when there is unwanted attention from strange men, and he’ll steer clear of a 10 ft radius when necessary. Boys are great friends, but not always the best wingmen.

If people don’t already assume he’s your boyfriend, they’ll assume he’s gay

This was taken at gay bar tbh

Unfortunately, that’s the price he’ll pay. Because you’re either dating or sleeping with him. If not, then he has to be gay. But you’re most definitely not, just friends. In my experience, this assumption can also be a plus, see above. 

You’ll go out to eat and people will assume you’re on a date

It’s possible to platonically get pizza with the opposite sex. It is.

You’ll have to constantly dispel the idea of you and him ever being anything in the future

Perhaps the most horrifying thing, is when people suggest that we start dating. It gets awkward. This is not the plot to a teen film.

Girls will probably hate you

Girls will see your close-friendships with guys as off-putting, and his S.O. will have to get used to being around. It’s a lose-lose. This is when you have to strategically plan out ways to make everyone happy.

Despite all of this, you know you’re guaranteed a judgment-free zone

If there’s anything that guys have over girl friends, guys will not judge you when you fuck up, time and time again.

You’ll come to the realization that men are just as much gossips as women

They’ll probably never admit it, but they love it.

You’ll get an exclusive inside look on the male’s perspective

At times this is very helpful, but also very horrifying.

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Rutgers University