How to ‘do you’ at college without feeling guilty

College life can really be a whirlwind. As a student, it can sometimes feel like you’re being pulled in a million different directions at once – socially, academically, as well as with careers and internships. There’s a lot of pressure to “make the most” of the college experience – to party, to have a bunch of friends, to network, to take any job you can get for the experience, even if it really isn’t the right fit for you.

And all of that can be really exhausting, especially if you’re not being true to who you are and what you’re feeling about a situation you’re dealing with. Some might say that students can’t afford to be part of the “do you” mentality, that it’s way too idealistic. I say you can’t afford not to, if you want to live a life filled with health, peace, and joy. Here are my best tips for “doing you” at college – because you deserve it.

It’s a balancing act

Let’s be real. You’ve got a lot on your plate. Especially this time of year, when everybody’s applying to internships, scholarships, and trying to bring their GPAs up from last term, things can get really overwhelming. Now add social life into the mix, and watch your hours of sleep go down significantly. There are events and clubs and student fairs all over the place – and you just don’t have time for all of it.

So how do you balance it then? You remind yourself that it’s OK to say “no” to things that you don’t have time for. This can be difficult, because you may feel like you might miss out on something if you say “no,” but the reality is that you won’t be able to 100 per cent enjoy any of your college experiences if you’re cramming too many in to a tight schedule. Listen to what your mind, body, and spirit are telling you and make time for what is most important to you.

Hang out with people who make you happy

The people that you choose to surround yourself with are crucial to your well-being. If any of your “friends” are pointing out negative things about you or just generally treating you like you’re disposable, it’s better to let them go. This is not mean. This is essential for your health as a human being. As a student, you only have so much free-time to spend with friends and that time will be much more well-spent if you have the right people in your life. Hang out with people you like – I would say the ones who are kind, understanding, and open-minded – and never feel like you have to stay friends with someone who is draining you. You have to take care of you, that’s part of growing up!

Say what you mean

Can you think of a time when you’ve said “yes” to someone or agreed to something that you really weren’t on board with? I know I can think of plenty of times for me. The problem with agreeing to something you’re not OK with, even if you’re doing it to try to be nice, is that you’re doing a huge disservice to you by not being honest with yourself. For example, if your roommate asks you to go grocery shopping with them and you don’t have time or it’s not the best time for you, don’t say “yes” to them if what you’re really thinking is “no.” The more you ignore that inner voice you have – the one that knows everything you need – the more disconnected you get with who you are and what you want to accomplish.

Be yourself

I can’t think of anything more important than this one. Being yourself is one of the most important lessons you will learn during your college experience, and in life, because once you are cool with who you are, everyone else you choose to surround yourself with will be too. Think about it. If you’re 100 per cent you with no apologies than you’re not going to be hanging around with anyone who doesn’t accept you for who you are.

Plus, you’ll start doing the things you actually enjoy, rather than the things you think you are supposed to do as a college student for any reason relating to academics, social life, or career. Live a life filled with passion and joy by being you and loving you.

The bottom line is: you should never feel guilty for “doing you” because you have to take care of yourself. It doesn’t mean you don’t love others and it doesn’t mean you’re selfish. What it does mean is that you have self-love, which is vital to your growth as a person. So go live your college life and “do you”.