Where to have sex on campus

Study break anyone?

College years are prime for sexual exploration for those willing, and even for those with a little more experience than the rest. Between classes it is always fun to find a naughtier alternative than just meeting at the local Starbucks.

The idea of sex in places where sex shouldn’t be can be very enticing for some. Here are some new places to try out for sex around campus.

Porta Potties on Busch parking lot

Ditch the old “bathroom quickie” routine and replace it with a porta potty quickie. Construction has now made this resource available to us with a high concentration around the Busch Campus Center/Dining Hall parking lot. Go into one with toilet paper available for easy cleanups.

The long B bus

Car sex can be uncomfortable unless you drive a truck. Try doing it on a bus – long B’s recommended – for quick, spacious fun on the road. Find one which is moderately occupied and go to the back seats for optimal privacy. Keep it classy. The bus driver doesn’t want to see you getting it on.

Busch woods

With the university sitting on such a large campus, lots of wooded areas are available for some quirky, out-of-place fun. Busch Campus offers its own woods right off the parking lot next to the Dining Hall. A way to become one with nature, but bring some bug repellant and avoid getting ticks.

Passion Puddle

They don’t call it Passion Puddle for nothing, get it? *rimshot*

Well, there isn’t much explaining for this one. Catch a bus to the Passion Puddle, bring a blanket and your partner and enjoy the romantic view of students running around to catch their bus while you get to it.

McCormick Hall roof

Many of the buildings around campus, whether academic, housing or student centers, offer easily found roof access. Try to pick out a building which is taller than its adjacent buildings and please make sure your partner doesn’t have a fear of heights.

Lectures – ARC 103

Professor got you falling asleep again? Try doing it during class. To maximize class time, ask one of your friends to take notes for you, but don’t sit next to them – that’s just weird. Tip: Choose a lecture hall without stadium seating style, but a more flattened out hall.

Literally anywhere on Cook/Douglass

Sitting on such large and beautiful land, you are sure to find a spot for you and your partner to claim as your own anywhere on the Cook/Douglass Campuses. From wooded areas nestled in between buildings to hidden stairwells, these campuses are waiting for you to use them. Be careful with the squirrels though, or the occasional deer. Or the geese. Or their poop.

Library of Science and Medicine

To study for that big test or to get laid? No need to choose one over the other. Libraries are a classic spot to get it on. There’s plenty of space in between the cluttered bookshelves and the roomy desks offered so there’s no need to even move your eyes away from the books. Unless you are studying for Anatomy and want some real-life models.

Staircase in Alexander Library

Another classic available everywhere on campus. Try to pick a staircase which isn’t under camera surveillance, unless you like the idea of being recorded. No judgement here.

B.E.S.T. Hall lounge

Late-night Netflix and chill sessions are meant to be held in the lounges, right? Avoid getting caught by your roommate by sneaking you and your partner out to the lounge of your floor. Bring your laptop and a blanket and get to work.

Laundry rooms

The washers take about 35 minutes, the dryers take about 50. Choose your cycle and go with it to make waiting more fun.

Your dorm

It might seem redundant to mention, but having sex can be a fun, intimate activity enjoyed better in the privacy of your own room. If you share a dorm, put a sock on the doorknob or do the modern alternative of shooting your roomie a text – that’ll do the trick.

Wherever you choose to get it on, just make sure you don’t get caught. Be smart and resourceful, but most importantly, have fun while you can.

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