How to make the most of the PSU Plague
Who knew being sick could be so fun?
When that summer – fall bridge rolls around, everyone knows it’s sick season. And in a school of roughly 46,000, it’s not hard to contract a sickness that sweeps from the Waring Commons to the BJC. Although being sick seems like the most frustrating thing in the world, maybe it’s not so bad after all. Here’s how you can take advantage of Penn State’s annual Nittany flu.
Care packages
First and foremost, being sick allows you to collect those early Christmas presents that we’ve all come to love. And if you have family nearby then you’re likely to get an email about this certain package waiting for you. Care packages are some of the best dopamine-exciters that a college student can get their hands on. Free stuff, delicious treats and cutting out the trip of walking to the store. So if you fall sick to our community’s version of the Bubonic Plague – make sure to let your family know, and hope that you’re lucky enough to have a cough-drop bedazzled box in your mail unit.
Time for studying!
In a very beneficial way, being sick does force you to stay inside and turn down any Friday or Saturday night invites. With this time to yourself, you’ll really have an opportunity to study and even explore your past writing or drawing passions. Being bedridden for a few days can be a very productive and esteem-boosting experience if you’re not sick to the point of inactivity.
Shower, shower, shower
We all know that one of the best sensations that come with being sick is taking that orgasmic, scalding hot shower. The one that really melts the skin on your back and feels like a few minutes of ecstasy. Hotbox your hall with steam and don’t be afraid to toss around the “I’m sick” excuse when everyone is asking you why your showers are causing a Pennsylvania drought.
Losing your voice and getting drunk faster
Take advantage of that raspy voice that comes after sickness like a mint after your Olive Garden dinner. Girls, and guys alike, know how attractive that deep voice can be. It spices up relationships, leads to easier hook ups, and makes you seem exotic (even though you’re really probably something to avoid because… germs). It’s a truly remarkable thing that everyone looks forward to after a week-long sore throat.
Also, riding this wave of antibiotics can really help your drunk. Your tolerance goes down, you will spend less money on drinks, and it will definitely keep you in check to not get super hungover. And for an extra little gift, cough syrup is a mighty fine mixer.
The rebound
And finally, getting sick can really put you into perspective when you’re back to good health. It will make you appreciate everything just a little bit more, and will prompt you to actually think about your health habits next time to make sure you don’t ever turn viral again.
In the end, maybe getting sick isn’t so terrible.