An honest guide of what to actually pack for freshman year at PSU
Everything your mom won’t tell you you’ll need to survive East Halls
It’s almost time for the freshmen to arrive in our beloved Happy Valley. Move in day is a time of peak anxiety, crying moms, and you trying to pick which Twin XL to claim as your home. In addition to what you know you already need, here is an honest list of things you definitely did not think of already and are absolute necessities.
1. A mattress cover for when you puke/pee in bed
2. A potable charger because your phone will die trying to catch Pokemon/get service at a football game to find your friend’s tailgate
3. Trailmix to leave behind some tracks to find your way back to campus after a crazy night in West College
4. Clorox wipes for when your roommate has the flu and you share the same two feet of space with them
5. A backpack to sneak a six pack (or more) of beer past your RA and into your dorm room
6. An extra set of sheets because a sweaty somebody will inevitably spend a night in your XL twin
7. An oversized Penn State shirt that you’ll probably find the need to wear as a dress with high socks and Converse
8. Photos of you and your friends from high school to decorate your dorm in order to prove to your new friends that you actually have friends, even though you will claim you “hated high school” and “just wanted to get out”
9. Easy mac/ramen/cup of noodles for when the snow is two feet deep and the dining commons is simply too far
10. A wine bottle opener… or you’re going to have to get creative
11. An Ethernet cable just incase the wifi fails because half of Penn State still lives in the stone age
12. A ski mask because the State College winters will literally make your face peel off… actually, just don’t go outside
13. Multiple gray-outfits (groutfits) because it’s the only thing you will want to wear to that 8am
14. Your soul for the Office of Student Aide to take as collateral
15. Condoms so you don’t have to awkwardly avoid eye contact with the lady at Good to Go
16. Pepto because the dining halls/downtown Chipotle will probably give you explosive diarrhea
17. Heels because everyone needs to look like a baby giraffe straigh out of the womb at least once trying to walk to frat row
18. Dollar bills so that that one dollar slice at Canyon becomes a consistent part of your going out routine
19. Shower shoes, unless warts and athletes foot are your thing
20. The ability to drink from 8am to 12am and still manage to meet your parents for breakfast in the morning
A first aid kit is also advised, but hey, we’ll let your mom tell you that. Get ready for the best four years of your lives, freshmen.