Male crop tops are 2016’s worst fashion trend so far


As summer comes to a close, we all get to see all of those college students rushing to embrace its dwindling daylight hours. While you still could enjoy the sun, there are some things that you should not do in order to save the rest of the community. The first of these things that comes to mind is male crop tops.

I, of all people, understand that it’s hot outside. I sweat like no-one else. But that does not give ANY guy an excuse to start wearing one of these.

Side note: His abs look great. Yummy, yum with a side of vegetarian gravy.

We all get it; you want to show off that beach body before you pack on some of those winter coat pounds. But this is not attractive to the opposite or same sex (or both, because hey, it’s 2016). Plus, in case this is a newsflash, there’s been something around for much longer, and it covers your entire abdominal region. It’s called a tank top, or as our fellow Aussies like to call it, a singlet. And let’s be real, guys look better in tank tops. I’d much rather see some beautiful, meaty arms and a popping chest than a belly button (Speaking of belly buttons, I ran into a guy wearing one of these crop tops with some belly button lint hanging out. Like dude, get your act together).

And the other thing, people will pay upwards of $50 for one of these. $50. One more time to let it sink in: $50. First of all, I won’t even pay that much for a good pair of athletic shoes. So, let’s be real for a second, your $50 could be spent much more wisely. For instance, you could be using that $50 on 50 McDonald’s ice cream cones. And anyone who would not put some creamy, delicious goodness before a piece of cloth needs to reconsider their priorities.

Now, the last thing that I ever, ever want to see again is one of these male crop tops at a party. I get it, they’re airy and will prevent you from getting schmutzy in one of those humid, testosterone-laced frat houses. But what is to prevent this shirt from flying up when you drop it low?! If people are distracted by your loose- goosey crop top, how can they pay attention to the booty? Don’t give up your dance moves for a half shirt.

Anyway, to all of you men out there who try to make male crop tops work, please stop.

UPenn: Penn