Penn students in Paris mourn lives lost

‘Our professor started class by saying that three students had lost their lives this weekend’

During this past week, Paris experienced a terrible tragedy that took the lives of at least 129 civilians and injured 350 more in the 10th and 11th arrondissements of the city – an area usually crowded each weekend with bar-hopping university students and dining families.

As one of the Penn students studying abroad in Paris this semester, I share the sentiments of grief and sadness of the many lives lost.

Flowers, candles and gifts left at Place de la Republique in remembrance of those lost. Courtesy of Sofia Norten

For the next three months, France will be in a state of emergency. Monuments are closed and police and military action is constant and obvious. For students here studying abroad, the uncertainty and the tension is frustrating.

Many are confused about how to feel and how to react. It is shocking to some that the common mindset has been to return to normal daily activity, while to others that seems like the only option. Some seriously question whether they should stay in Paris for the remainder of the semester or return home to the states where they feel safer and are closer to loved ones.

One Penn student studying abroad in Europe, Emily Shoyer, explained her experience as removed but still terrifying. She was luckily in Berlin for the weekend travelling like many others when she heard the news. Her return to Paris reflected the tension and anxiety of the weekend. Having to delay her flight by a night due to uncertainty about the news in Paris, she and a friend then witnessed police officers detain and search a suspicious car at the airport upon their arrival.

Emily enjoying some of Paris’s finest falafel from L’As Du Fallafel earlier in the semester

This experience is sadly not unique to just Emily and her friends. Many in Paris are experiencing the trauma of heightened police activity. As part of the state of emergency, police forces have more freedom and ability to conduct anti-terrorist invasions and they are constantly patrolling the streets – a precaution that makes many feel safer.

For Katherine Littel, this police action became apparent during a daily metro ride. The line she takes to the home of kids she tutors was abruptly shut down and evacuated this afternoon due to a suspicious backpack. While it was up and running again within the next hour, it was a shock and reminded everyone that the terrible violence on Friday may not just remain an isolated issue.

Littel explains, “Bags are mistakenly left on the metro all the time, and the reality is that these incidents, whether intentional or not, cannot be taken lightly anymore. Everyone is on high alert.”

Such disruptions, however, only emphasize the determination to return to daily life – which is bizarre and jarring for some, and comforting for others.

Shoyer explains her experience in class on Monday witnessing those returning to that daily life as “surprising and weird.”

Shoyer says, “Our professor started class by saying that three students had lost their lives this weekend but that we needed to remain strong and keep living. I found it so strange we were not told their names or anything about them – it was announced and then we moved on with no discussion or moment of silence or anything. That kind of abrupt coping method was extremely startling.”

Shoyer (right), Armstrong (far right) and other Penn students deep in conversation in front of Notre Dame

Littel finds she grapples with similar sentiments: “I don’t think it’s right to continue on like normal in the wake of such horrific events. The truth is that Paris is different than what it was on Friday morning. I spent the entire weekend in my host family’s apartment, and I’ve been especially cautious going to and from school. It’s terrifying and heartbreaking to think of the families now without mothers, fathers, siblings, and children, and I find myself thinking of them so often that ‘daily life’ seems an impossible thing to return to.”

Katherine (left) with a Penn friend earlier this semester at the Eiffel Tower

For others the most troubling part is the fact that they, along with the citizens of Paris, no longer feel safe walking alone, eating out with friends or going out at night. Daily life is now tainted with paranoia and a constant necessity to be vigilant.

Shoyer says, “We chose to be here to have a great new experience and now it has been reduced to this anxiety…it’s not what we signed up for.”

Even though most students here – including myself – are determined to continue our experience to the best of our ability, there is a consensus even among us that we must be on guard and continuously aware our surroundings.

Paris for Eleanor Armstrong is definitely different and she explains, “As hard I am trying to continue living normally, I can’t help but feel slightly nervous whenever I take the metro or walk through a busy area. However, from a safety perspective, I’m not too worried about being in Paris because I’m not actually sure I’d be safer in any other city.”

Eleanor (far left) with other Penn students enjoying the Seine and a lovely sunny day in Paris

Like Eleanor, Parisians refuse to show terrorists that they have affected everyday life and ruined the pleasure and happiness of the city. While grief, sadness, and tension are widely felt, so is a deep-set determination and need to be resilient in the face of tragedy.

These attacks have affected everyone in Paris, larger France and around the world. They are a sad reminder of 9/11 for Americans and they resonate with many in the Middle East who face such violence everyday.

France is in a state of emergency but the French people, surrounded by support and compassion, are striving to move on, remember those lost and bring Paris back to life.

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