We Facebook stalked Penn students’ embarrassing high school posts
Then we followed up with them
Back in the days when Justin Bieber was still rocking the bowl cut, angsty tweens took to Facebook to projectile-vomit their feelings to all of their virtual friends.
This led to an excessive amount of posts which should have been lost in the internet void.
However, as Facebook stalking connoisseurs, we have taken the liberty of digging up the best – and by that, we mean the worst – posts from the Class of 2019.
Years after the fact, we tracked down current students to resurrect statuses and pics from their high school years which they probably didn’t want resurrected. Then we asked them to explain what they were thinking when they posted these gems.
You’re welcome, fellow Quakers.
We know that you’re a chemical engineer and don’t need to know English, but it’s still moose. Always has been.
“I hate you” – Alayna Choo
Three posts about studying in one day? I guess we know how you got into Penn.
“My study habits seem to be on the decline since I got a 41 on my Econ midterm” – Sarvi Chafik
This looks like an unintentional selfie. But we still want to know: was it better than Allegro’s?
“How do you have so much free time to stalk me dating back to 2011?” – Brianna Arscott Grant
You’re 13! Was the party at Chuck E. Cheese? A school dance? What were you so stressed about?
“Algebra was a bitch.” – Dani Lozano
This sounds like the opening line to a memoir about heartbreak.
“This post makes me want to Avada Kedavra myself.” – Justin Straggi
When Kristen Stewart learns to smile.
“I never even finished reading the book.” – Lynn Dankner
Victoria Secret’s Fashion Show 2016? Future Vogue cover model?
“I think I look good.” – Grace Lee
Thank you for contributing to the 14 percent illiteracy rate in America.
“I am embarrassed.” – Moira O’Connell
***Give the gift of faith this holiday season.***
(Marco Aranda declined to comment.)