What it’s like to grow up knowing you’re adopted

Growing up as an adopted child, I see the world differently. I look at every day as a blessing because I have been given the chance to live a wonderful life full of opportunities.

I was born in Guangzhou, China in 1996. In July 1997, I was adopted into one of the biggest, most loving families a girl could ask for and moved to Hollister, California. My experience growing up as an adopted child has been nothing but the best. Right from the start, my parents have always made it clear that my biological mother gave me up because she loved me and wanted to give me a better life. This could only be done by letting someone else raise me.

For those unclear on the history, China introduced a one-child policy that was only formally phased out last year.  Male children took preference in China, leading to a huge increase in the number of girls who were put up for adoption.

My parents flew to China in 1997 with a large group of other parents who were also adopting little girls.

Since then, some of our families have stayed in touch and I am still very close to these girls who are practically my sisters. One of these girls is actually my sorority sister, so it really is like having family by my side. I can easily say I have been living a life many can only imagine. From receiving a college education to making a countless number of friends I love, the blessings are endless. To top it off, I am part of family that loves me unconditionally while supporting my dreams. It does not get much better than this.

My ‘Big’ sister in my sorority was actually in my adoption group when our parents came to get us in China

Every month, I meet with a fantastic group of students who are part of the Holt International program. This is an organization in Oregon that supports adopted children and their families before and after adoption. It provides the children with opportunities to strengthen their relationships with others and reach their full potential. For example, Holt holds annual summer camps for adoptees. Many who attend these camps begin as campers at a young age and then become counselors when they are older.

Most of us have grown up hearing the phrase, “You’re not like the other kids, honey,” from our parents in one way or another. Thanks to Holt, we have made friendships that will last a lifetime.

The adoptee group from Holt International meeting for their monthly dinner together.

For sophomore, Carly Bushman and senior, Hannah Jewell, growing up as adopted children from different countries was not easy. Carly was adopted at six months old from Nanchang, China in the Jianxi province after she was left at a police station and put into an orphanage. Hannah was adopted from Seoul, South Korea when she was one after her biological mother gave her up. Like many children who are adopted around the age Carly and Hannah were, they often do not learn their native language. As they grow older, it is usually up to them whether or not they want to.

During her early childhood, Carly’s parents did their best to connect her to her birth country. This included enrolling her in Chinese dance lessons and encouraging her to learn Chinese. She even attended an annual camp in Colorado for adoptees where she met other children like herself, participating in outdoor activities and arts and crafts. Although the intention of reacquainting their daughter with her heritage was great, Carly said that she hated the camp and stopped going. She then began to play soccer and piano. It was not until Bushman’s peers began to make comments about how her features did not match her parents, did she really begin to think about how different she was.

Carly said: “I felt like any other kid even though people would tell me that my face was smashed in or that I looked like a monkey. I wasn’t really cognizant of my appearance and how it was different from my parents until later in elementary school”.

Since being in college, Carly has returned to China twice and has realized the importance of returning to her roots. As a new member of Holt, she believes that this group  is very helpful in bringing together adoptees who have experienced some of the same feelings she has.

“Creating these long lasting relationships is valuable to anyone whether they’re adopted or not, but having people around you that understand what it feels like is comforting,” she said.

UO Sophomore Carly Bushman was adopted from Nanchang, China. She is an Honors college student studying Architecture.

Hannah always looked at being adopted as a very positive thing growing up. Despite facing some ignorance, she has always been grateful that her parents put her in camps through organizations such as Holt International. She owes much of her experiences through this program to who she is today.

Hannah said: “The Holt camp out and Holt adoptee camp are what basically made up my entire childhood and were always the two events that I looked most forward to. I truly believe involvement with Holt activities and that community has helped me accept being adopted and embrace the uniqueness”.

UO Senior Hannah Jewell had the privilege of meeting her biological mother when she studied abroad in Korea last Spring

I would not be who I am today without my loving, supportive parents, Jacki and Bryan

Although I have benefited from being adopted in countless ways, I still receive looks or unintelligent comments from others.

For example, when I was younger, I often would be asked ignorant questions such as, “So who are your REAL parents?” and “Why did they give you up? Did they not love you?”.  If you meet someone who’s adopted, please avoid: “Why don’t you look like your siblings?”, “Do you ever want to go back to where you came from?”, or “Does it ever make you sad about being adopted?”

We are not “like the other kids,” and we’re proud of it.