How not to behave at a pumpkin patch

Remember the pumpkins who gave their lives for our pies and PSLs

When life gets you down, go to a pumpkin patch! There really is no better way to spend an October afternoon than at Wise Family Farms, nestled in the idyllic northern Mississippi landscape a brief 30 minutes outside of Oxford. They have it all: pet-able animals, a corn maze, hillbilly golf, flower-picking, haunted woods, great food, fun people, and, of course, pumpkins galore straight off the vine.

Are your case studies and research papers making you feel too adult for pumpkin-carving? Nonsense! Take a few lessons on how to pumpkin-patch like fully grown children.

Get your obligatory dab out of the way, then play

The games and structures may be intended for kids, but don’t let that stop you from enjoying them. Corn-hole has no age limit as far as I know, and while you may not be allowed in “Munchkin Land” (a music-festival-esque attraction suspiciously disguised as a toddler’s play area), the rest of the grounds are yours for the playing. (I would suggest getting there a little after 1, as the local schools send “real” kids to the patch in the mornings. If you’re there at the same time though, no worries, we made friends and so can you.)

Corn-maze your day away

The stalks are as high as elephant eyes, so bring a map as you traverse the acreage. Ten minutes into your trek, you might think “I’m literally just walking through corn,” but take the opportunity to enjoy the company you’re with. Or embrace the calm nature around you. Find a spot, pop a squat, and read a book. Bring headphones and listen to some good ole fashioned Mississippi bluegrass (or EDM, whichever you prefer).

Practice mindfulness, or get frustrated and leave the way you came in, no one will know either way. Remember the wisdom of Robert Frost, who said, “Two roads diverged in a complicated corn maze, and I took the wrong one.”

Get your haunt on

The aptly named “Hollow of Horrors” opens up at 7:30 on Fridays and Saturdays for an extra $10 admission, and the proceeds go toward the Union County Humane Society.

We snuck in to give you a sneak peak, and despite the daylight, we were thoroughly spooked.

Pick yo’ pumpkin

When you’re all done actin’ a fool, hitch a ride on the wagon that makes regular trips to the patch. If you’re super nice to the driver, she’ll take you to the best plots where the pumpkins grow thick on the vine. Pick out your favorite and pluck ’em yourself. Don’t be weary of the green ones, they may be ripe, but they make for some fierce Jack O’Lanterns. If you wanna roast some seeds later, though, orange is the way to go.

Waiting on the wagon? Take a stroll to the sunflower field and pick your fill. Freshly picked flowers make for happy dates. And hey, maybe carve up a nice vase with that weird green pumpkin you got.

Eat your fill

All this childlike behavior makes for empty stomachs. Enjoy a burger or some BBQ nachos before you head back to Oxford.

Carve it up!

Your last foray into childhood will be pulling the brains out of your freshly picked pumpkins. Buy a few candles from the dollar store and you’re good to go.

Save the seeds for a delicious snack as you reminisce over your perfect Fall day.

Remember your day fondly when you’re back in class

Take pictures, and don’t let the good times slip as the stress of finals builds. You got to be a kid for a day! Revel in it.

Finally, remember these wise words from the pumpkins who have generously laid down their lives for our lattes and fraps.

Ole Miss: University of Mississippi