Everything girls put up with that men would back out of in a week

Last week, news broke that the trial of a new male birth control shot was stopped for “safety reasons,” due to 20 out of the 320 men participating in the study dropping out due to side effects like acne, pain at first injections, palpitations, hypertension, or erectile dysfunction. The study also revealed that the drug impacted the fertility rates of the participating men, resulting in eight of the 320 men not returning to fertility after one year off the injections.

Wait, what? You’re telling me that taking birth control has side effects other than preventing your super sexy dad bod from procreating? Even worse, they’re unpleasant and sometimes even painful? We women had no idea — and we’d like to issue a world-wide apology to the 320 men who were subject to testing the new male birth control and who had to deal with the unfortunate side effects.

If we were to get rid of any female birth control methods that produced the same adverse side effects, literally every single option would be taken off the market immediately. Birth control has been linked to depression, and women on the pill are 23% more likely to be prescribed antidepressants than women who aren’t on it. And almost any woman who has taken birth control can attest to the weight gain, acne, and mood swings that come along with it.

Men complaining about the side effects of a contraceptive that women have had to put up with for years is just one example of how men would never, ever be able to put up with the shit that women are expected to put up with every single day — so here are a few others.

Hair removal

Tweezing, shaving, waxing, bleaching, lasering — you name it and I can point you to a women who does it. Removing body hair is among the most tedious things women are expected to do. It’s time consuming, often painful and expensive, and no matter how many times you shave or wax, the hair always seems to grow back. We all know a guy who swam in high school and had to shave down for a season, and I’ll bet he never let you forget just how annoyed he was to have to shave his legs. Well, swim stud, on this one, we agree — body hair maintenance is a huge pain in the ass.

Check out those freshly shaven legs

Wearing heels

Now, before you say that this is something women choose to do, and not something that they have to do or that is expected of them, I’d like to take a moment to kindly disagree. In many waitressing and catering jobs for women, heels are a part of the required uniform. These are women who have to walk around for sometimes eighteen hour shifts in uncomfortable shoes that they never wanted to wear in the first place. Heels are the place your happiness goes to die. The only plus side? You’re going to look hella fine in your casket.

Getting paid less

A 2015 study shows that women get paid, on average, 20% less than their male counterparts. Meaning for every dollar a man makes, a woman makes 80 cents. One suggestion for why the pay gap exists is because men will negotiate for higher paying salaries, while women are less likely to negotiate their contracts out of the fear of being fired or turned down. Men clearly don’t have an issue with complaining and asking for better, whether it’s their birth control or their salaries, they seem to be unable to be told they’re not deserving of the very best.

Dealing with mansplaining

There is an inverse correlation between the amount of ‘mansplaining’ a man does, and the size of penis that man has. That is to say, the more mansplaining that occurs, the smaller the penis. I almost saw two guys get in a fight over which direction was north and which was south. In the end, they were both wrong, and had been pointing to east and west, respectively. However, when I tried to tell them that at the beginning of their argument, I was silenced immediately, ’cause I’m just a silly, direction ignorant lady. If men were to experience the same amount of condescension that women do on a daily basis, they’d probably lose their minds.

Let’s be honest for a moment: If men had to do the all of the things that women are expected to do, they’d probably be ready to give up in less than a week. The fact that they couldn’t handle the side effects of birth control is laughable, but not unexpected. There’s so much shit that we as women have to put up with every single day that men couldn’t handle, and while it’s easy to make fun of them for being weak, instead we should celebrate ourselves for being strong.

@wainz_world