How to nail a girls’ night out in Columbus

Let’s add some more fun to your 4 Loko Friday plans

Columbus is booming with nightlife that suits just about any age group. With Ohio State’s campus directly across from some pretty fun bars, a girls’ night out can made pretty easy. But how do you perfect it? Read on, babe.

The pre-game plans

This is ideal. Get all your girlies under one roof and get the 4 Lokos ready. Blow up the GroupMe and make sure you have your Spotify playlist full of all the best songs your squad can’t resist (Closer, obviously). Throw on your high-waisted jeans and ankle booties with a deep-cut body suit and choker. Make sure your makeup guru friend fleeks the hell out of your face and uses that super expensive setting spray so you don’t sweat it off.  As soon as everyone has taken at least three shots, you can continue this pregame at Ugly Tuna for Ugly Hour.

Sorority squat or GTFO

Every girl’s favorite photo op is the squat. This is ideal because Jessica and Katie have the same ‘good side’ and God forbid you post a picture where one isn’t looking fan-fucking-tastic. The entire goal of this picture is to make sure your ass looks great enough to get an Instagram like from the guy you spent all summer hooking up with. This picture can be taken inside literally any Columbus bar, but the best will come from the patio at Midway since it provides a lovely view of the student union because we are here for school first. At least that’s what our parents think.

Liquid dope and frat guys

Get your asses to The O and get a pitcher (or five) and hang out by the fire pit. The warm glow from the fire on your perfect highlight is sure to attract those Kappa Sig and Delt hotties. Make sure to get Jake’s number before you and Brooke finish the pitcher though because after that, the chances of spelling your name wrong are very high.

After finishing the pitchers and letting Jenn make out with Tyler from Phi Psi, head to the bathroom for the drunk mirror pics. This is also the perfect time to snapchat that guy who won’t make the first move since you’re full of liquid courage. Touch up the lipstick and head over to Ethyl and Tank for some Long Islands.

Girlies’ dance party

Once Tina has decided she needs to dance and won’t be throwing up at the bars, it’s time to head to Bullwinkles. After about 15 minutes in there, you soon spot Ali’s ex all over some freshman girl who probably used her sister’s fake ID and decide to get the hell out before there’s a shit show. The good news is Midway has way hotter guys and there’s nothing wrong with going here twice in a night. You already know the music here is better than any other bar on campus. After Sam gets a round of Vegas bombs for everyone it’s time to get out there and dance your hearts out.

Once the DJ has taken care of your requests for Britney Spears throwbacks as well as the latest from The Chainsmokers and Justin Bieber, it’s about that time where the smell of street meat is taking over your body.

Drunken Apollo’s

Apollo’s has something for everyone in your group, even the vegetarian. Conveniently placed right beside three bars and being open 24 hours, Apollo’s is always the move. Jessica notices that guy from The O and starts chatting him up again and ends up getting a gyro out of him, as well as his number and invite to block before the game next week. So even if you wake up regretting ordering the mozzarella sticks, the gyro fry combo and baklava at least your girl got you access to free alcohol on gameday.

You may wake up tomorrow hungover as hell and with your girl friends spread all over your room and living room, but every bit of it was worth it. Even the 120 second Snapchat story you posted.

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