NYU schools ranked by attractiveness

‘The Stern kids, they’re always wearing suits’

In a generation most renown for its unhealthy obsession with rose gold, all-too-tiny backpacks, and its 24/7 virtual omnipresence, aesthetics seem to be at the epicenter of millennial success.

That being said, with appearance at the center of the stage, one cannot help but wonder, how do NYU students rank? And which NYU school has the most subjectively attractive

To pseudo-humbly claim that I'm immune to looks and solely focus on personality when choosing a romantic partner would be a lie. The credibility of that statement is par to the "freshness" of McDonald's "healthy" options. Whether we admit it or not, the harsh reality is that looks are the foundation of one's attraction. We are drawn to a certain style of man just as we are drawn to a new pair of converse —studs on leather for some and satin laces for others.

"You'll find a guy in college," they said. "They'll queue up for ya!" they joked. And thus, armed with unnecessarily raised hopes and Disney ineffaceable's false expectations, my eyes scanned the ever-windy alleys and corners of Greenwich Village.

Curious to enquire on the popular opinion regarding where exactly it is that the most attractive students study—or hide— I embarked on a quest for the mythical "hot-stuff".

I asked my friend Jackie Kupeli, a fellow freshman and Liberal Studies major, which NYU school had the most drool-worthy students.

"The Stern kids, they're always wearing suits," she said, seemingly entranced by their professional apparel that reeks of collectedness and self-acclaimed superiority.

Unsatisfied by the fashion oriented observation, I searched for a second angle, welcoming with open arms the bias and superficiality we so often mask in public. I say, let it shine.

Much to my dismay, and unfortunately for its students, the general consensus regarding Tandon School of Engineering appeared consistently pejorative throughout my interviews.

Offering his views on the billion dollar question, Mert Erenel, a Tisch freshman, said he wasn't sure who was the most attractive, but that Tandon had to be the least appealing. Ouch.

"They usually just study so much we either don't see them or, they are just anti-socials on their play stations," Erenel said.

My apologies, Tandonites, it seems your only option is to get some sunlight, show up more frequently and prove us all wrong. My nerdy side holds much hope in you. Come demonstrate just how hot Pascal's laws and data decryption can be!

In a third interview, following a moment of contemplation, Gianni Grieco, a Liberal Studies freshman, said that before coming to NYU he assumed Tisch was the most attractive school.

"After having been enrolled in NYU for several months, my outsider presumptions have long changed," Grieco said. Sneakily implying between his lines and not-so-subtle eye contact, it seems his change of heart stems from Tisch students' being too over the top. Perhaps they're a little too wild to be pleasing to the eye of some, fluorescent color palettes randomly combined with golden bomber jackets might not be the smoothest of outfits.

Overall, the general feedback seemed aligned, all comments roughly coinciding. Other than a few anomalies, such as the Law School being nominated as the most handsome by one person, or the inevitable "My school, because I'm in it" remarks, evidence suggests Stern to be the grand champion in the realm of NYU's perceived beauty contest.