How to spend literally nothing on food before Spring Break

Bank balance got you feeling like crying yet?

Your bags are packed, your destination is picked, and all that stands between you and that glorious beach are a few measly days.   Before heading out to buy your weekly groceries, you decide to take a quick look at your bank account to decide whether you should shop at Whole Price or Cheaper Joe’s. But the number that kills your soul a little bit, let’s you know that you won’t be shopping at either unless you want to pull a Winona Ryder. You’re a broke ass college student and you will most likely starve before you make it to that beach.

To avoid that, we have created a free food game plan that will allow you to make it to Saturday without having to give away a single penny.

Monday: March 7th

Bagel Fest,  2nd Floor Silver, 10:30-12:30

For breakfast, enjoy free bagels, tea, and coffee, courtesy of the CAS student Council. Hint, bring a large bag and sneak a second bagel into your bag for your lunch.

Vegetarian Cooking Class, TBA Kimmel, 6-7:30

The Krishna Bhakti Club at NYU holds weekly vegetarian cooking classes in Kimmel every Monday. BYOC*.

*Cutlery stolen from Kimmel dining hall.

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Tuesday: March 8th

National Pancake Day, IHOP, 7am-7pm.

Come enjoy a free short stack of pancakes at IHOP with your choice of syrup. Warning. Side effects include food commas, tight pants, sleep apnea, and death.

Tea Andrew Hamilton

Commuter Den, Hayden Hall, 4:30-6:30.

Tea and scones with the president of NYU. Maybe you can ask him where our tuition is going if it’s not to fix the whole escalator situation in Kimmel.

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Healthcare: A right or a privilege, GCASL C-95, 6:30.

Free Food and adult discussion. It’s like a real life diner party.

Wednesday, March 9th

W Hotel, union Square.

Fun fact, there are free apples at the check in desk. Just nonchalantly grab one from the front desk as you meander your way toward the elevator. Ride the elevator for a couple of floors then exit with that same air of confidence, grabbing a second apple as you exit the hotel. Not ethical, but saving money is not about ethics.

Pangea, 178 2nd Ave.

Check in on Four Square and you can get a free hummus and pita.

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Colombian Jeopardy Night, GCASL 321.

So you’re not Colombian? No problem it’s a club for people with Colombian backgrounds and friends. Come ready to learn more about Colombian culture, and of course to eat.

Thursday, March 10th

Find a freshman.

Step one: Find a freshman dorm.

Step two: Find a freshman.

Step three: Follow freshman to all you can eat dining hall.

Step four: Fill your backpack with enough food to last the day.

Step five: Congratulate freshman on being down one less meal than before.

Friday-Saturday, March 11-12th

Farmers market breakfast.

The farmer’s market is like your own personal organic Costco. There are samples everywhere so sample mercilessly. Then head to Trader Joe’s where there will be coffee and food samples.   Sources say you can manage three food and coffee samples before they start to get suspicious. Tip: keep your head down.

Tinder dinner.

Ladies, male chivalry does more than opening the door for you. Select a couple of men that don’t look too creepy and let them treat you to a nice dinner somewhere. I’d recommend Vapiano: huge portions so you can doggy bag what you don’t finish.

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And there you have it, a game plan to spend zero dollars before spring break. But don’t feel restrained from the outline: feel free to go to other clubs that are advertising free food and look to the NYU Free Food Facebook page to see if anything new pops up. Good luck and may your wallet never grow lighter.

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