Ask an NYU student: If you go home with somebody, and they don’t have books, don’t fuck ’em

“If you go home with somebody, and they don’t have books, don’t fuck ’em!” – John Waters (author of Role Models)

Regardless of how much you care for someone, there are always signs telling you to either invest your time in them or get the fuck out. Most of the time, these are masked by lust. But, if you’re wondering why he or she doesn’t like you, ask yourself if they’re worth your time and energy.

Indicators:

1. They respond to your texts/calls in a timely manner. If they’re making excuses that they’re bad with their phone, they don’t care about you. Don’t buy that, “they’re bad with their phone” bs if they’re on Facebook or social media platforms, and not responding to you.
2. They’ll text you at an appropriate time. What time of day, kind of person are you? If they’re texting you in the morning, then you’re the first thing they’re thinking about when they wake up; in the afternoon or early evening, they actually care about you and your day to day activities; in the late hours of the night or early hours of the morning, they’re thinking about you because they’re drunk and want to fuck.
3. Do they want to hangout or go on a date? This “hangout” bullshit is vague and doesn’t mean a date. Hangout is casual and probably just means Netflix and chill. A date shows that they want to take you out, and be seen in public with you, rather than hiding you in an apartment.
4. Have you met their friends? If you’ve never met their friends or people they surround themselves with, then there is something shady going on. If they want to be with you, they’ll show you off to the people they care about- they’ll want to share with you the things and people that make them happy.

Anonymous, Male, NYU student

I recommend that you look at the four indicators I’ve listed above…

She is probably a great girl, but doesn’t want to commit to anything serious. If you’re looking for something more than a late night “hangout” or sex, you should talk to her because she seems quite comfortable with the way things are going. Unless you set boundaries and make them known, the status quo will not change. Also, if she’s out during the day with her friends and blowing you off, she probably doesn’t want you to meet her friends or thinks that you only want sex from her. Communication is the most important factor in a relationship, people can’t read minds, so if you want a change you have to tell her what exactly you want. On the other hand, if you’re texting her during the day and she is blatantly ignoring you, then she’s just not that into you, or doesn’t think of you in that way. In that case, you can move on, or use her for sex the way she is using you.  

With this weekly column, people can send in questions about their relationships or texts to (702)-718-0755 and get advice from someone who has experienced today’s dating reality. There is 100 per cent anonymity, and the number is generated through an app to direct your texts to my phone. You won’t have my number, and I won’t have yours.