Hannah Duke: You asked, she answers

Q: I don’t know if this is too personal, but are you still in therapy? I’ve been recovered for a couple of years now, but I’ve recently felt myself slipping and I don’t know if it would be worth it to go again.

Thank you so much for your question. It’s a topic near and dear to my heart, so I’m really glad you asked.

Yes, I do still see a therapist. To me, therapy is not necessarily a need-based activity. I go to therapy to maintain what I’ve worked so hard on, as well as to continue to expand the important skill of having insight in my normal, day-to-day life. On top of all this, it’s incredibly useful to have someone to talk to who isn’t a biased friend, (as much as you might like your therapist, you’re not going to be meeting him or her for drinks).

A common misconception about therapy is that a therapist is meant to give advice. (Think “don’t text him back” or “you should call your mom every Wednesday.”) In my experience, this has never been the case. Good therapists help you unbox your complicated feelings on an issue. From there, you are able to look at what may have seemed a dire circumstance from a more level-headed vantage point. Another great part about therapy is letting go of appearances. For me, when I’m speaking to a friend, I am always mindful that I don’t come off “too crazy” and that I don’t ramble on and on about my concerns. However, my therapist is paid to listen to me. I can tell he loves his job, but it’s just that: a job. If you’re like me and you struggle with feelings of guilt when it comes to venting, therapy can be immensely helpful.

However, I do say all this with a few qualifiers. For starters, therapy is simply not for everyone. As you can probably tell, I don’t mind talking about my feelings, and I find it useful to verbally explore my emotions and flesh out practical solutions to problems. If this sounds like hell for you, there are plenty of other amazing mental health boosters out there that can be used alone or in addition to talk therapy. Some—but not all—include support groups, meditation, body positive yoga, medication, or even just journaling. Counselors and therapists are wonderful at recommending alternative solutions to therapy. Also keep in mind that there are lots of different types of talk therapy. Research a few and decide which type, or combination of types, you think appeal the most to you.

This brings me to the last part of your question, regarding whether or not it would be “worth it” to go to therapy again. If you think you may be “slipping,” as you put it, it is my opinion that you should most definitely reach out to a therapist or another qualified individual. In my experience, eating disorders are steep and slippery slope. A few symptomatic behaviors here and there can turn into a full blown illness in less than a month. If this doesn’t sound like something you want, and you found therapy to be helpful at one point, I urge you to go again. If you want to find a different therapist, NYU Wellness can provide you with an extensive list of people who work both in and out of the university.

It’s great that you can recognize you need some support. The next step is going out and getting it for yourself because you know you deserve it. I am struck by your word choice of “worth it.” No attempt to take care of yourself, however big or small it may seem, is ever not worth it. Be gentle with yourself and the rest will follow.

I learned that from my therapist.

I wish you well, and keep me posted on how you are doing,

Hannah

I write a bi-weekly response column and you can email any questions you may have to [email protected] or text via (917) 391 0632 and I’ll do my best to give advice on anything from food to dating to fashion.