Ask an NYU student: How to get someone you always wanted

Have you ever asked a parent, or someone from an older generation, about relationship advice? Or what to respond to a text message? I’d come off as a total fucking loser if I listened to my parents and sent messages like “OMG! LOL ;)”.

Although they’ve dated and have much life experience, I always find myself telling them “you don’t understand what I’m dealing with”. They don’t get the shitty new reality of dating. Back then, a boy would call a girl and ask her out on a date. The key word there is CALL. Calling shows courage and that this dude has balls, while it invokes flattery within the girl. Nowadays, a girl is asked out via text message, leaving her to ask herself… how many girls did he send this to? Yes, he’s most likely a douche bag and did send that to multiple girls.

Phones and social media platforms create an alternate identity for people- a “real-world” you and a “behind a screen” you. While phone calls or face to face interactions require courage and stamina, texting does not.

Texting also has rules. When do I text back? Will they think I’m too forward? What if they don’t respond? The “waiting game” is REAL. One holds a power if they don’t respond to texts, or if they receive a lot of them. Here are some basic texting rules:

1. Your texts should be comparable in length to theirs.
2. As one of my best friends always says, “the best response is no response”…
3. WAIT TO REPLY. If you text back immediately, they’ll think you’re waiting by the damn phone for them.
4. If you text someone, do not fucking text them again until they reply. Seriously.
5. If you’re the one always sending the first text, they’re not thinking about you.

With this weekly column, people can send in questions about their relationships or texts to (702)-718-0755 and get advice from someone who has experienced today’s dating reality. There is 100 per cent anonymity, and the number is generated through an app to direct your texts to my phone. You won’t have my number, and I won’t have yours.

Anonymous, female, 21

I don’t have insight into your past romantic experiences, but I would guess that you are a bit co-dependent. Co-dependence isn’t necessarily a bad thing; however, it definitely can be. If he doesn’t text or call you when you’re not together, then he’s not thinking or caring about you. It seems that you’re convenient for him. You’re there when he wants a girlfriend, but he doesn’t have to think about you when you’re not around.

How can the sex be bad when you’re not having it frequently, and only fucking him!

Don’t try and be the reason he’s going to change his ways because YOU CANNOT CHANGE SOMEONE. He’s taking your love for granted, and completely de-prioritizing your wants and needs. You need to take care of yourself and put yourself first, put YOUR needs on the same level you put his. Hopefully, you’ll see this guy doesn’t care about you, and you’ll move on and find someone who does.