This is how you spent Valentine’s Day weekend if you’re a single girl

The dreaded Valentine’s Day Weekend. As a single girl, you (most likely) despise it, not only because you’re surrounded by everyone else’s mushy-gushy love, but because it pretty much will get rubbed in your face whether you like it or not. Even if you (like me) enjoy your independence and ability to be happy on your own, for an entire weekend the world seems to repeatedly imply “Why aren’t you in a relationship?”

So how do you survive these three days of annoyance and shame? Drinking numbing amounts of alcohol? Crying along to The Notebook? Hitting up your ex for a self-pitying booty-call? None of the above, actually. It’s possible to enjoy your Valentine’s Day Weekend like any other holiday weekend filled with friends, drinks, and being generally thankful for the life you have – but how? The answer is (gasp) celebrating love you have around you.

luv ma ladiez

I spent all of Valentine’s Day Weekend going out and staying in with friends – the people who love me most, and turned what used to be the horrific Valentine’s Day Weekend into a girl-power-esque Galentine’s Day Weekend. And, to be honest, it was the most fun I’ve had so far this year. So let’s break it down, ladies:

DAY 1: Friday

Friday, unfortunately, is a day when I have class until 3:00 pm. But, despite this set-back and implicit inability to go out the night before, I was prepared to go all-out for the weekend. With an also-single gal-pal from home coming to visit and a bunch of friends readying the plans for a turn-up, the weekend was in motion. After a quick dinner and outfit change, I found myself dancing (and pretty tequila-drunk) among my favorite people. And as a “lovey-dovey” drunk, I was happy as a clam to be surrounded by so many special people.

Not one person mentioned Valentine’s Day, being single, or troubles with the same/opposite sex – we were only focused on the love we had for each other. (Drunken I-love-you hugs included.) It was exactly what I needed, and a perfect way to start the weekend. Not to mention ending the night with Chicken Nugget Pizza – the pizza you never knew you needed until you realized you couldn’t live without it.

God bless the drunken bliss that is Bravo Pizza.

Patiently waiting to meet a boy who makes me feel how pizza makes me feel

DAY 2: Saturday

Oh god… OK: I need water, Ibuprofen, and some kind of cheese. Am I dying? No – it’s just the cataclysmic aftermath of a night filled with Jose Cuervo. That’s how my morning (early afternoon) went until my body was finally revived with Dunkin’ Donuts – thank GOD.

Luckily, the rest of the day was jam-packed with fun plans. First, an early dinner at Il Corallo in Soho – the best Italian food I’ve ever had in New York (and dirt cheap) As a huge foodie, there was no better way to get back into the mood of the weekend than with a cappuccino, tiramisu, and a major carbo-load with my girls.

‘And for the lady, perhaps a salad?’ ‘Mmm, perhaps not…’ (White Chicks, 2004)

And, up next, was seeing the much-anticipated movie How To Be Single (with the much-needed and most underrated movie candy: Cookie Dough Bites). Let me just say, as a certified feminist (as are the rest of the ladies that tagged along, obviously), I went into the star-studded movie excited, yet with slightly-low expectations…

My biggest fear was that this movie, which would (hopefully) focus on female empowerment, friendship, and independence, would end with all of the characters in relationships. And to my pleasant surprise – it didn’t! The movie touched on just about every aspect of a single heterosexual female’s dating life, both deep and superficial, and no matter who you were or what you were going through as the viewer, you felt understood by the narrative. And the best part? Every character didn’t end up in a relationship, and they were happy because of it – because these single women unconditionally loved themselves and each other.

*heart-eyes emoji*

My friends and I left the movie slightly drunk (wine in a water-bottle, anyone?) and, best of all, feeling strong, empowered, and totally in love with each other. We sprinted back to our place in the DISGUSTINGLY cold weather (Mother Nature was obviously feeling some time of way about Valentine’s Day Weekend) and started drinking, dancing, and just having a good ass time together.

DAY 3: Sunday – Valentine’s Day

Needing a bit of a break from the weekend’s activities, a bunch of us stayed in all day, watched TV, and took a minute to generally re-charge – and because that night was the big Valentine’s Day party, we knew that in some way or another, shit was bound to go down.

The party was filled with couples and singles, and to be honest, it kind of got me down for a second – to see couples smiling at each other with such love, and then to look to your left to see strangers putting their tongues down each other’s throats. Yes, it’s nice to do what you want and be single, but at some point on Valentine’s Day weekend, you too are going to wonder why you are not in a relationship.

i love ice cream!!

But my answer to this came in the form of a reality-check, when I watched my best friend cry at the party over a boy who she had been long-involved with and cared so much for, but who didn’t reciprocate those feelings. And on a day like Valentine’s Day, that’s going to feel like a slap in the face no matter who you are. Comforting my friend and watching her cry out of confusion for this boy made me so angry, because I couldn’t understand how any boy couldn’t see what I saw in her.

And that’s when I realized: this is why it’s OK to not be in a relationship – it’s OK to be on your own and be whoever you want to be, to wait to be in a relationship until the right person comes along. Because if they’re not the right person, and if they don’t see how special you are in the way that your best friends do, than what’s the point of being with them? I can’t wait to meet that person who will look at me with such love, and who I’ll look at like they’re my favorite person in the whole world – but it’s not worth it to waste your time and happiness on someone who makes your friends constantly remind you that you deserve better.

RUN — do not walk — to get the discounted post-Valentine’s-Day candy

Sitting in Lyric Diner with the remnants of friends who hadn’t thrown up, fallen asleep, or gone home with a hookup, two girl-friends and I ate our weird assortments of food, and looked at each other with such proud smiles. I realized just how much I loved them, and how much they loved me. “I wouldn’t want to spend Valentine’s Day with anyone else,” I said to them, “because we love each other more than any fuck-boy ever could.”

Ladies, never settle for someone who treats you like you’re anything less than special. Being single is a beautiful thing, because you are your own priority, and you’ll get to know yourself better than you ever have before. Best of all, you’ll learn to love yourself enough that you’ll never feel the need to settle. Surround yourself with your beautiful friends, 50 per cent -off discount Valentine’s Day candy, and maybe a shit-ton of tequila, and if all else fails: remember that the highest number of breakups occur the week after Valentine’s Day.