How to decrease the anxiety you feel when posting on social media
‘I hate the feeling that I need others to endorse what I have decided to share’
I must admit, social media – whether its twitter, Instagram, Snapchat, Facebook, or anything else – has been an on-again-off-again affair for me over the past few years of my life. It’s the relationship that everyone hates and no one can keep track of it. Are they or aren’t they? Who broke up with whom this time? I’ve sworn off Facebook and Twitter repeatedly, and created (then quickly deleted) more than my fare share of Instagram accounts. Snapchat, for what its worth, has remained a steady constant, however. But suffice it to say, it’s been love-hate from the start.
Pros & Cons
I love that social media allows people to stay connected with friends and acquaintances, whether near or far. I have definitely used it in my own life to stay in touch and keep up with people I otherwise might never see again. I also love the creative element of it, and how every platform caters to a different form of self-expression. There is, quite literally, something for everyone.
But what I do not as much enjoy is the tiny (or perhaps not-so-tiny) feeling of anxiety that comes right before you hit ‘post,’ and you wonder if anyone else will actually ‘like’ it. I hate the feeling that I need others to endorse what I have decided to share. I hate that social media encourages a kind of hierarchy over how many likes a certain tweet or picture gets, as if the number beneath the post is somehow a reflection of your individual popularity, or character, or intellect. I hate that people feel others will (and that others actually do, sometimes) judge you based upon the number of likes your photos get. Because why do we care? Why does it matter? Here’s the short answer: it doesn’t.
2 fools
Defying my own expectations
In my own life, I used to keep track of which pictures got the highest likes, and whether or not I was increasing in the amount of likes I got, or decreasing. I would also analyze the time and day to see if it made a difference. After a while, I was afraid to post anything out of fear that it would not top my latest posts.
The whole thing was just exhausting, so one day I rebelled and posted a picture that was not perfectly manicured or perfectly captioned. And when it didn’t do as well as I had expected (read: didn’t get many likes), I realized that it was still ok. I did not need to delete the picture and re-think my life. Things continued as usual and none of my friends disappeared. It was the start of a whole new world. So, here are a few guidelines to help decrease the anxiety you may feel when you just want to share your creative genius with the rest of us.
Before posting it, list the reasons in your own mind for why you would like to post that particular item
If you think of a picture or a caption or a phrase or any idea for a post that you like, there should be no reason why you don’t post it! If you feel it is a valuable form of self-expression, please do not hold back your colorful genius from the world. But, if for whatever reason, you are nervous about unleashing your personal creativity to the world, recite in your mind the reasons why you like the idea, and then go forth and share.
Post it. And don’t look back
Just do it. Press the button and release your masterpiece to the world! It may feel like an enormous moment, but trust me, life will continue as usual. Then, once your creation is available for public viewing, do something else with your valuable time. Anything else. But refrain at all costs from just waiting there, looking at the notifications stroll in.
ride into the sunset like you can’t see the number under the photo
Don’t memorize the number
I won’t attempt to say, “don’t keep track of who likes your pictures,” or “don’t look at the number beneath each post,” because I realize that it is an unreasonable request. (Plus, who doesn’t love it when a like from someone you wouldn’t expect pops up in your notifications? It might be the best kind of surprise.) But, try not to keep track of which pictures have the highest – and lowest – number of likes. Instead, focus on whether or not you like the picture, because that should be the only thing that matters.
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