If NC State majors were contestants on The Bachelor
Guess which major Corinne is
Whether or not you watch The Bachelor, I’m sure you’ve heard at least a few conversations about it. Since The Bachelor seems to be such a big part of my life and so many others, I thought why not compare a group of 30-year-old women on a TV show to college students bettering themselves and earning a degree? (This is completely a joke and in no way meant to be offensive.)
Psychology major: Taylor, 23
Psychology majors seem to take one PSY 200 class and are suddenly diagnosing you with bipolar depression cumulative nimbus disorder. Taylor loves to run around telling anybody and everybody about her “emotional intelligence” and how she has such an amazing ability to psychoanalyze.
I mean come on girl, you’re on a reality TV show, no one really cares if Nick has “built up a wall” or if Corinne is “just too immature.” All we care about is seeing someone get way too drunk and tell Nick they love him. Which is exactly what everyone in college wants, too. So, psych majors: you and Taylor seem to be a match made in heaven, so enjoy the endless scrutiny and the constant looks of disdain when you go into a spiel about mental health.
Communications major: Alexis, 23, Aspiring Dolphin Trainer
Oh, communication majors. You, like Alexis, have such a pure love for life that can only be achieved if you’re taking classes that explicitly talk about..well..talking. Alexis and communication majors have a lot in common, like the fact that they have no idea what career they are going to choose. Hey, communication majors, maybe you and Alexis could start a dolphin training company.
Pre-Med major: Danielle M., 31, Neonatal Nurse
I have never met a pre-med major that didn’t have an impeccable sense of drive. Danielle M. is like the girl we see at frat parties who leaves super early because she has to go study. We all respect the heck out of her, but we also all know we could never be her. You pre-med majors keep doing what you’re doing. We are proud of you and Danielle M.
Education major: Vanessa, 29, Special Ed Teacher
OK, so I think we can all agree that every education major we have ever met is actually the cutest little ball of life on campus. Vanessa threw up on a date with Nick and STILL got a rose. That’s how freaking cute she is. I mean come on, someone who wants to spend every day of the rest of their lives with children has to have a pretty great attitude towards life. Which is apparently very attractive – especially to Nick.
Business major: Rachel, 31, Attorney
Rachel has this air of intelligence that is so real and confident that it isn’t at all cocky. Just like all those business majors at NC State, she is driven and will not take no for an answer. She is also always willing to stand up for what she believes in. Business majors will shut you down really quick if you speak poorly of their beloved Poole College of Management and they’re not afraid to do so. Shout out to you business majors. Oh, and maybe one of you will get to be the next Bachelorette, just like Rachel.
Pre-Law major: Liz, 29, Doula
Liz could manipulate the man she (most likely) has murdered into thanking her. I don’t know if it is her charming smile, perfectly straight hair or what, but she has a way of getting what she wants. Just like all you pre-law majors running around, taking any chance you can get to prove a point. Liz will take an opportunity to stir up a little drama and then throw her two cents in. I see you pre-law students doing the same thing. However, Liz is very successful and generally well liked, so I guess pre-law majors have a bright future ahead of them.
Exploratory Studies major: Corinne, 24, Business Owner
Everyone loves to hate her, and exploratory study people, everyone loves to hate you too. Corinne runs around chugging champagne like it’s her job and suffers no consequences. A man that 26 other women are fighting for is head over heels for her, plus she’s rich. How much better could it get? Corinne, I admire you, just like I admire all the exploratory study peeps. You all have fun sipping champagne (when you’re older) and have men (and women) fall at your feet. The rest of us will just sit back and admire you.
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