Where to shit on campus once the Union closes
Where will you take your 10am poop?
Since it was announced that the Union is closing for renovations beginning next semester, you’ve probably been wondering where you’ll have to poop for the next 20 months. The Union is the perfect central location, ideal for taking your daily mid-morning shit on your way to the Chem building from Squad. This is a convenience in life we’ll truly miss. Here are some second-tier places to defecate in the upcoming semester.
The Dana building
Compostable toilets in Dana are maybe cooler than the second floor women’s restroom in the Union. Seriously, you’ve got to try it. Waste from the toilets are made into a “tea” that can be used as fertilizer. A peaceful poop that saves the planet? This will definitely become your new favorite spot.
The restrooms are pretty average, but the floor tile in them is what’s really dazzling. Roasting Plant is right on State, not too far from your classes. Stop in and get a Bali Blue Moon Latte and a croissant, and don’t forget to shit and take a pic of the floor. (PIC)
The basement of North Quad
These are some top notch bathrooms. Plenty of stalls and sinks, where you can shit with your bestie after you both fail your Spanish final.
8th floor stacks
These small restrooms are the only one on the floor, but are nice and quiet; perfect for your 10:30am bowel movement. While you’re deep in the stacks, take a peek at the view near the study rooms. Seriously, you’ll never poop anywhere else after going here, not even your Landmark apartment. Bonus: this place is perfect for having your daily mental breakdown. Get two things done at once!
The Natural Science building
Yeah this building is sort of a maze, but the bathrooms make it bearable. The building is super old, and had randoms rooms and doors where you’d least expect, so all of the restrooms are odd triangular shapes. Not to mention, the pastel color scheme is something you’ve gotta see.
Not the ones that look like they’re straight out of a horror movie on the ground floor, but the ones right when you walk in from the grand steps lined by pillars. These are super nice, with windows for a bit of natural light. The best part about these restrooms is the ceiling in the main entrance way. It will make you feel like royalty when you walk under it on your way to your porcelain throne.
DM us on Instagram and let us know; where will you shit winter term?