Every type of roommate you’ll have at Michigan State
The strange, the weird, and the questionable
College roommates can either be a blessing or a curse, and whether you live in East or Brody, you probably have roommate issues. Here is a list of all the different kinds of roommates you will have while at MSU.
The clingy one
They see you when you're sleeping. They know when you're awake. They want to be with you whether you've been bad or good, so you'd better freaking run.
You know the kind: they want to be with you all the time, day and night, they follow your Snapchat location like a stalker and they know your class schedule better than their own. There comes a point when you wonder if they even go to their own classes because all they seem to do is wait around for you to get back to the room.
As soon as you unlock the door, they are there ready to to go to the cafe and go to UAB events that you probably didn't even know about. Make sure you don’t give them your mom's phone number because they'll text her when you won't go out with them for dinner on Grand River.
The up-all-night one
Knock, knock. Who's there? Oh, it's your roommate's friend at 2am, ready to spill all the deets of their night out until the sun comes up. Never mind that you're trying to sleep and have an exam in the morning that's all the way in East– Ashley's story is CLEARLY the most important thing in the world right now.
Ring, ring. Who is it? Your roommate's significant other who calls at 11 on the dot every night. This wouldn’t normally be terrible if they didn't fight with each other every night until one of them angrily hangs up.
The yelling will continue until 1am when they finally go out in the hallway to continue their verbal duel. Sweet, sweet sleep will finally envelope you, until your roommate comes back, still yelling on her phone.
The one who isn't who they said they were
Facebook's program RoomSync can only tell you so much about someone. You met your roommate through social media and seemed to hit it off…but that was before you both moved in.
Instead of being the self-proclaimed book worm and over-achiever that they promised they were, they are quite the opposite. They go out every night and end up noisily and drunkenly rolling into your room around 3am. You can't remember the last time they went to their 8am class because they always turn off their alarm as soon as it goes off, stay in bed until noon, and get mad when you come into the room at 2pm making the slightest noise.
The horny one
What's that lump in your roommate's bed? Is it person #1, person #2 or person #3? You don’t know their names because your roommate never introduced you, proving that they are not interested in getting to know them beyond their anatomy.
On multiple occasions you have walked into the room, heard ~questionable~ sounds, and quickly gotten the hell out of there. Looks like you're staying in Wilson for the night. Your roommate doesn’t care that you're also paying thousands of dollars in room and board to share the room – all they care about is the person currently occupying their bed.
Try not to lose sleep wondering if something is happening five feet away from you in the middle of the night, we already know it is.
The invisible one
You have a roommate – who knew! Ever since the day you moved in, you have seen your roommate a total of *maybe* six times. The only sign of life from their side of the room is the sheets that have moved slightly from where they were the night before. They come in after you are fast asleep, and they leave before you wake up in the morning. The invisible roommate moves like a ghost through your room, never letting anything get out of place.
The one time you saw them, the only thing they said to you was "you're back early from class," even though you never told them your schedule. You haven't seen them since then, and they never answer their phone when you ask them a question, even if you're just trying to figure out who's getting the toilet paper.
It's like you're being ghosted by a person who you never even wanted to be with.
The natural disaster
Welcome to your room, or should we say, the room that a tornado has ravaged. Your roommate apparently has no idea how to use a closet or dresser, as their clothes are all over the floor. It's almost as if they forgot how to be human.
They assume that a maid is going to come and clean up after them, but that's not how college (or life) works. They have reverted to their primal state and everything they touch gets destroyed. The garbage piles up day after day, and the smell is starting to become overwhelming, but you refuse to throw it away again. Everywhere they go, the stench of a hundred dead MSU squirrels follows them.
As your semester goes on, we wish you the best of luck with whichever roommate you have. If you get blessed with a seemingly normal roommate at MSU and none of these stereotypes apply to yours, know that you're probably one of these roommates.