Michigan State Dairy Store ice cream flavors as sex positions
Tag yourself, I’m Sesquicentennial Swirl AKA Reverse Cowgirl
Dantonio Double Fudge Fake: Anal
This ice cream keeps it classic, but takes it up a couple of notches. Instead of just being tasty, the daredevil level goes up just one step. It’s the flavor that says “stick it in” without thinking about it, and is ready for the ride.
Nittany White Out: Facial
You’ll bury your face so deep in this sweet taste it’s going to be all over your face. Just make sure you wash it off… or eat it up.
Sesquicentennial Swirl: Reverse Cowgirl
Who has ever heard of green birthday cake ice cream? No one, other than MSU kids. Who has ever enjoyed some crazy ass party sex? A lot of people, especially MSU kids. And just like the ice cream, your’re willing to swirl it around.
Scarlet Knight Delight: BDSM
This ice cream would lock you up in the backroom of their house and leave you there for hours. Only to pleasure you like never before upon their return.
Illini Orange Crush: Losing virginity
This isn’t the douchebag who drunkenly took your virginity. It’s the sweet guy you’ve been crushing on for years. He takes his time and makes sure you’re okay and comfortable. He’s gentle and sweet.
Honors Toffee Coffee: Morning Sex missionary
Honors students aren’t the rowdiest of the bunch, and neither is their ice cream. It’s more like waking up in the embrace of your significant other. After some breakfast in bed and coffee clothes are removed in no hurry during a sweet, cuddly make out. It’s plain, calm, cute sex.
Maize-N-Berry: Masturbation
Sometimes, you just have to treat yourself, and this ice cream will do it. So good on its own it’s orgasmic, no toys needed.
Buckeye Blitz: Bathroom stall quickie
Alright, gotta make it quick. Which won’t be hard. With peanut butter and chocolate balls in peanut butter ice cream, you’re going to want to hide and down this one quickly before anyone catches you. Just make sure the public bathroom is empty first.
Gopher S’more: Round two
Who wouldn’t want to go back for s’more of this sweet-tasting, reminiscent-of-simpler-times ice cream. Give me seconds, and thirds. Please and thank you.
Huskers Sweet Corn: Blowjobs
Oh so phalic, but in a good way. It’s so good that you can’t help but go down again and again and again.
Cinnamon: Drunk doggy style
You have got to be a little wild to enjoy the spice of cinnamon ice cream. You also have to be a little wild to trust doggy style when drunk. One slip and lord knows what happens–good luck.
Illustrations: Sophia Silva