Why MSU men are the least romantic humans on this planet

The dating realm of college is something that cannot be explained simply. Men range from extremely extravagant dates coupled with a serious relationship, to your basic down-right booty call. Dating has changed a lot since our parents were in college. Recently, college seems to be now focused on a hookup culture fueled by alcohol and facilitated through text messages. I’m not saying there aren’t good guys out there who are looking for a wholesome relationship, but if you are one of the lucky few who has found a “keeper” while in college, I pray that y’all stay together till the end of time.

For those of you who haven’t, I’m sorry. Your prince charming is out there. But until then, through my friends, sorority sisters, and word-of-mouth, I have complied this array of conversations that you or a friend have likely experienced when encountering a college-aged male. All I can say to these boys is: best of luck to you, and don’t do something you would be embarrassed to tell your mom about.

How nice of him. Making sure she was ok after the breakup, and offering his “fire.” A true gentleman.

Schleep? Does he mean sleep? Does the fact that this happened at 4am have anything to do with his typo?

Adding lol to the end of that was not necessary. If he was really serious about something an “lol” is not the way to go about the situation.

Instead of buying you dinner, they’ll buy your alcohol. Modern day chivalry.

This guy is just trying to keep good contacts. Good for him.
There are so many things she could be doing at 7:25am. He is not one of them.

Some people don’t know how to take a hint.

$500??? Do you know how much that could get her at Sephora? Seriously, something to consider.

Decline…

If the screen shots aren’t enough for you, here are some other male encounters my friends dealt with that are the most least romantic we could find. They include:

• My roommate got a text from her FWB saying “so we gone fuck or nah”.
• A guy (in a fraternity that will not be named) was like “I’m John what’s your name?” and I was like “oh my boyfriend’s name is John” and he goes “oh want to go on a date tomorrow”
• I had a guy tell me once he would pay me “any amount I was comfortable with to eat my toilet treats” and he was serious…

To say the least, if I ever got any of these messages I would throw up and then immediately block their numbers/accounts. I hope that none of these messages have frequented your inbox and if they have, i’m sorry. But do note that this doesn’t happen forever, just during your four years here at MSU and maybe a couple years after…

If you didn’t believe me before reading the screenshots, I think I definitely  proved that Michigan State male students may be the most unromantic humans on the planet. Also, huge shoutout to my friends and sorority sisters for allowing me to publicly display their encounters with these real gems.