Michigan Senate to ban oral and anal sex
WTF
Well, Michigan has a pretty unique government I must say. Instead of doing everything in their power to fix the whole Flint water crisis fiasco (you may have heard of it, it’s only been called one of the worst public health crisis of America), they decided to pass a bill that essentially bans oral and anal sex. Obviously someone isn’t getting any in the Michigan Senate.
Listen up MSU students, anything other than missionary is probably questionable so you might as well not do it. Our poor police officers not only have to worry about burning couches, underage drinking and illegal drug use, but they also have to be the bj police now. It’s sort of funny because Michigan already has an anti-sodomy law even though it is declared unconstitutional by the Supreme Court. But hey why not waste time, money and resources on something like this, right?
“A person who commits the abominable and detestable crime against nature either with mankind or with any animal is guilty of a felony…”
The way the law is written makes it seem as though these acts are not allowed between two consenting adults. In reality it is meant to stop animal abuse from occurring and essentially the Senate couldn’t be bothered to remove the words “with mankind,” but it still makes things awkward for us kids just trying to get some every once in a while. But obviously we’re all for protecting man’s best friend and preventing bestiality.
The bill has yet to go to the House, but if they decide to pass it then college students everywhere are going to be felons. Going to third base is going take on a whole new meaning (or at least new legal implications). The bj police will stop you from having fun real quick, but like hand jobs are fair game I guess.