An open letter to Colin Cowherd

Colin Cowherd: the fake ID of sports media

Mr. Cowherd,

Last year, when our Iowa Hawkeyes went 12-0 and eventually went on to play in the Big Ten Championship and the Rose Bowl, you had a whole lot to say about us. After we started 6-0, your usual handful of listeners turned into thousands as Hawkeye fans listened in droves to you ramble on about “fake ID’s.” As an Iowa fan, I’ve got a few things to say.

First thing’s first, Colin – Iowa being “the fake ID of college football” has to be one of the worst sports commentaries of all time. The fact that you used that analogy truly speaks to both your character and your skill in sports media. Talking with other Iowa fans throughout the year, we failed to see how to make sense of such an unusual and idiotic statement. You even contradicted yourself several times in your “bold” analysis – you say Iowa used a fake ID to drink with the big boys, but they also got denied at the door. You say Wisconsin is a talented team and Iowa isn’t, yet Iowa beat Wisconsin in Camp Randall earlier that year. You say Iowa consistently plays a cupcake conference schedule, but do you realize that we don’t schedule our own conference games? Pull yourself together, dude.

The next thing I want to let you know is that Iowa fans aren’t alone when we say we truly don’t care what you have to say about sports, Colin. From your blatant plagiarism of a Michigan student blog on your show, to you disrespecting a WWE star by saying he died of a steroid OD after he passed away due to lack of oxygen to the brain, to begging your ESPN listeners to “see if we can blow up” and shut down a sports blog for no apparent reason, to claiming that Sean Taylor deserved to die after being senselessly robbed and shot in his home just because he was black, to you saying the MLB is “too simple” because they have too many players from the Dominican Republic and all of those players are uneducated, which finally got you promptly fired from ESPN – truly no one has cared what you have to say. Not only are you a poor analyst, but you’re also a bigoted racist. Congrats.

If you don’t consider any of those things to be ‘crossing the line,’ Colin, let’s talk about how you compared Iowa to a farmer that puts in little to no work and demands respect. The fact that you say that about a team that proudly bears an ANF (America Needs Farmers) sticker on their helmet and consistently supports Iowan farmers that work harder every day than you have in your entire life is completely ludicrous. If a regular sports analyst said that, we may let it slide because they most likely didn’t mean any harm by it. Looking at your track record, it’s blatantly obvious that you were taking a shot at our state and our hard working farmers that support his country, and for that we will never forgive you.

The last thing I want to say to you is goodbye, and goodbye forever, Colin. You continued to (try to) talk smack about the Hawks for weeks after the college football season, and quickly Iowa fans stopped listening and you went back down to your handful of weekly listeners. I, along with many Iowa fans, have held distain for you since you decided to rant about the skill of our players and coaching staff, but with this letter we let all of that go. Iowa fans have given up on you, many sports organizations (including the entirety of the MLB) have given up on you, and it’s only a matter of time before you spout out more disrespectful and degrading nonsense that eventually gets you kicked off the air (for a second time). I hope it was worth it.

More
University of Iowa